Torn apart
by Natalie.Jane175
Summary: What if Ana and Christian never got their happy ending. In this story Jack never made bail. 2 days after Ana had told Christian she was pregnant she disappeared on her lunch hour. It's been just over a year since she went missing and Ana is now living off the grid on the other side of Seattle. What made Ana run and what happened in the time she was away. No cheating. HEA eventually
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: All characters belong to E.L James

2 days after Ana had told Christian she was pregnant she disappeared on her lunch hour. It has been 10 months since she went missing and Ana is now living off the grid on the other side of Seattle. What happened to make Ana run and what happened in the 10 months she was gone. Everyone has their own story but is everything they think they know true.

I awake with a start. My eyes fly open, it's dark, pitch black even. For some unknown reason I am filled with fear. My eyes dart around but the darkness seems to go on forever. Panic starts to set in as I try to listen for a noise, anything but all I can hear is the pounding in my ears getting faster. My breathing starts to speed up, I have no control, I'm in the grips of a full blown panic attack. My body is gripped with fear and I have no idea why, I can't seem to focus on anything, I have no idea where I am or what I'm looking for. My eyes catch something in the corner of the room, I try to calm myself enough to see what's caught my attention. A small light seems to be flickering in the corner of the room. I focus on this small slither of light and everything starts falling into place. The pounding in my ears starts to subside as I realise the light is coming from a street lamp outside my apartment block. My breathing starts to return to normal as my brain takes in the fact that the flickering is caused by my curtains blowing in some unfelt breeze. My curtains that hang on my window in my apartment where I am safe. My eyes start to focus more and I glance round the room.

I'm in the front room of my apartment, I must have fallen asleep on the sofa. I move to sit up making it only half way before wincing at the pain that shoots across my neck. I sit up the rest of the way rubbing the back of my neck, silently cursing the high arms on my sofa. I reach across and flick the switch to the lamp that sits beside my neck-breaking sofa, light fills my tiny apartment. I release a deep breath I wasn't even aware I was holding in. A glance at the clock tells me it's almost 4.25am. Great, I know that there's no point even trying to go to sleep now, there's to much adrenaline cursing through my veins. I should do something useful with this excess adrenaline like go for a run, burn it off if you would. I suppress a giggle at the thought of me doing anything remotely healthy. Instead I settle on taking a long hot shower, something to fill the time till I have to set off for work. Ah yes work, if it could pass as that, whittling the hours away in a little coffee shop. Serving the customers their fuel for the day as they go about their business, working real jobs, earning a decent wage, living a somewhat meaningful life. While I look like the perfect poster girl for a "stay in school" campaign. Except I did go to school, and college, I even had the real job, my dream job. But that's all in the past now, I can never go back.

An hour and a half wasted and I've managed to shower and dress for the day, I even spent extra time blow drying my hair, managing to get it looking like it actually has some life in it. I make myself a tea and go to take a seat on the sofa, picking up my late night forgotten novel off the floor on the way. I must have fallen asleep reading once again. I turn the telly on in time to hear some weather man tell me to take an umbrella with me today, what's new there, I need an umbrella surgically attached to my hands in this rainy city. I continue to sip my tea while watching some early morning talk show, not really taking any of it in. When I next glance at the clock it's almost 7.00am, I splash my now cold tea on to my jeans as I leap up from the sofa,I have less than 45 minutes to get to work which if I was getting the bus would be no problem at all however I don't have a penny to my name to even do that. I briskly wipe at my jeans while I grab my coat and race out the door, slamming it in my haste to which I hear a threat to keep the noise down from one of my very friendly neighbours. As the cold Seattle air bites at my cheeks it would seem some sort of luck is on my side as so far the rain the weather man promised seems to be holding off. I'v soon set a comfortable but quick walking pace and I'm feeling hopeful I may actually make it to work on time.

When I next glance at my watch I have about 20 minutes left before I'm officially late for work, I have no chance even if I start running now, I pick up the pace anyway hoping that if it at least looks like I made an effort I won't get into much trouble with my boss. The streets are now full of suits politely pushing past each other in a rush to get to the office, I find myself bumping shoulders with a few of them although most are polite enough to sidestep slightly out of the way. My eyes are trained on my feet making sure they don't step anywhere they shouldn't when I collide with someone, hard. The collision is hard enough to make stumble back a couple of steps, as I try to get my balance a pair of hands grab my forearms perhaps trying to prevent me from falling backwards. I release a breath and a giggle at the same time, relieved my rear end has been saved from a painful introduction to the sidewalk. I look up from my shoes to the hands that are still gripping my arms, they have quite a grip that I'm sure it would be slightly painful if I wasn't wearing my thick coat. I'm suddenly aware that quite a bit of time has passed since the initial collision and the only sound to come out of my mouth was an awkward breathy laugh. I raise my head slightly ready to thank the owner of the hands but the words get stuck in my mouth and all the air escapes my lungs as my eyes are met with a very familiar face. A million different emotions seems to pass through his eyes yet his face remains impassive as a whisper escapes his lips.

"Anastasia."


	2. Chapter 2

"Anastasia."

"Christian," the name is out of my mouth without a single thought and I watch as his brow furrows, a little crease forming in between his eyebrows. My mind soon catches up to me and the reason why it's been so long since I've seen him hits me like a freight train and I know I need to get out of there, fast. I pull my arms back a little to forcefully, thinking he has a tighter grip than I had originally thought. I stare down at the floor, knowing that if I stare at his face any longer my resolve will falter. I open my mouth to try and apologise, explain, say anything but the words get stuck in my throat so I give up and just turn and walk away. I can hear a commotion behind me and what sounds like Christian calling after me so I speed up, breaking into an awkward slow jog, not quite sure if my legs are up to the job of running. I don't look back afraid of what I'll see if I do, a small part of me hopes he's chasing after me if not to at least see if I'm ok after all this time, unfortunately I know there's no chance of that happening and I gave up on that sort of wishful thinking a long time ago. Christian stopped caring about me months ago and I have the divorce papers to prove it.

I arrive at work, late and out of breath, the shop is open with a few tables already occupied. Marty,the owner of the little coffee shop and my boss, is busy dealing with a counter full of customers, for which I'm glad as this means he doesn't have time to fire my ass. I quickly throw my coat in the back and grab an apron before making my way back to the counter, throwing Marty an apologetic stare whilst ignoring the look of anger that gets thrown my way. For once I'm hoping for a hectic, non stop day so that I can avoid what I know for sure is going to be a severe telling off.

The day passes much to quickly and I've been lucky to avoid being alone with Marty long enough to do anything other than exchange a few short words. But I can't avoid it for long and I've just said thank you to the last customer of the day. I set about clearing the table of its two cups giving it a quick wipe with the damp cloth I carry in my apron pocket. I then proceed to carry the cups into the small washer room located at the back of the shop, it's a narrow room consisting of a dishwasher and a kitchen sink. I place the cups in the sink ready to rinse them off before they go in the dishwasher when a shiver runs down my spine. I spin round and find Marty leaning against the door frame.

"Anastasia," the way he says my name makes me feel dirty and uncomfortable, I resist the urge to shudder with disgust. "You wanna tell me why you were late, again?" He asks while his eyes slowly run down then back up the length of my body, I think I actually throw up a little in my mouth.

"I'm sorry," I start "I had no money for the bus, I walked as fast as I could but I knocked right…" Marty cuts me off by raising his hand.

"You know what Anastasia, I've had enough of your bullshit excuses. You're always late and when you do eventually stroll in you have your fucking head in the clouds, I don't have time to be picking up the slack of my lazy employees." My mouth falls open slightly, I can't believe what I'm hearing, this coming from the laziest man I have ever met, I'm left picking up his slack while he stands at the end of the counter perving on all our female customers. Marty takes a step towards me, his expression changing from one of anger to one of fake compassion and I instantly know where this conversation is heading. He's been making sly passes as me since I started here, I've always been polite enough to laugh it off as a joke but deep down he makes my skin crawl. If I wasn't so desperate for the money I'd have quit weeks ago and thrown a sexual harassment case his way.

"Ana, ana, ana," he says as he takes yet another step towards me, invading my personal space and making me feel very uncomfortable. "I took a big risk employing you, if anyone ever found out that I'd employed you, off the books, as they say, I could end up in very big trouble with the tax man. But I'm not jus worried about me, oh no Anastasia, if I get caught so do you I'm afraid, and let's face it no proof of ID, no proof you are allowed work in the states and avoiding the taxman, you sure are gunna be in a lot of trouble." He's now standing right in front of me effectively blocking the only way out. My eyes roam his body taking in his balding head, his too small white t-shirt, yellowed in various places from what can only be described as the worst body odour I've ever smelt. I was completely desperate when I took this job, no one would even look twice at me as soon as I asked to be paid cash in hand. He must mistake my look of disgust for something completely off because when I look back at his face he's smirking at me.

"Now I know just how much you need this job Anastasia," his tongue darts out as he licks his lower lip, eyeing me like I'm some piece of meat. "I'm sure we can come up with some way you can make this worth my trouble." He reaches down and adjusts his crotch and this time there's no holding back the shudder my whole body does at his actions. I straighten my spine and try to appear as confident as I can, there's no way I'm going to be blackmailed into sleeping with my sleazy boss over some less than minimum wage job.

"So are you saying that if I want to keep my job, I have to sleep with you." I'm unable to keep the disgust out of my voice at thought of doing anything for him. He reaches out and runs a finger across my shoulder and up the side of my neck, the only bit of skin that I have on show.

"I'm just saying, I'm taking all this risk and getting nothing in return, that's hardly fair now is it?" He removes his hand from my neck and places it on my hip, pulling me towards him so I'm flush against his chest. I take a deep breath in and release it slowly, thinking very carefully about what my next move needs to be knowing one wrong move mean big trouble for me, Marty is a big man and could very quickly overpower me if he tried. I place my hands on his shoulders, flattening my palms, as I smile sweetly at him and at the same time I bring my right knee up hard and fast. My knee collides directly with his manhood and the noise that comes from his mouth is like nothing I've ever heard a person make. His face scrunches up in agony and he slowly sinks to the floor, groaning all the way down. I seize my opportunity to escape and jump over him using the kitchen top as leverage.

"Don't ever touch me again!" I say over my shoulder as I make my way out the door, I can see he's managed to stand and is making a move to follow me, I'm not too worried though, the speed my knee hit his junk he's not going to be catching me anytime soon. I snatch my coat up from where I'd carelessly thrown it earlier that morning. I make my way through past the counter, throwing my apron on a nearby table. There's a youngish gentleman in a suit waiting at the counter

"Excuse me ma'am."

"Sorry I don't work here." I reply without stopping.

"You fucking bitch." I hear Marty shout after me. "You're finished here you prick teasing whore." I don't get to hear whatever else he has to say as I swing the door open and hit the street running.


	3. Chapter 3

I've managed to run a few blocks before I have to stop, I lean against a wall and brace my hands on my knees. My lungs are burning and I can see spots swimming before my eyes. The cool evening air is causing my throat to burn every time I try to breathe in. Thanks to my adrenaline I've managed to run a lot further than I would have under any other circumstance, I'm certainly paying for it now. My breathing starts to calm down and I can no longer hear my pulse pounding in my ears, so I set off walking in the direction of home, I'd rather not be out on the streets when it gets dark.

Climbing the steps to my apartment building it suddenly hits me, I have no money and no job. I also still owe 2 weeks rent from last month and and this months is almost due and I'm almost sure I won't be seeing my wage from the sleaze ball coffee shop owner. I let myself into my apartment, closing the door behind me I double check all four locks, there's a reason I could afford to move into this apartment no questions asked. I make my way over to the kitchen area and click the kettle on, I don't bother to look in the cupboards as I know I won't find any food in them and the fridge hasn't work since I moved in, so I settle on just having a strong cup of tea instead. I walk into the bedroom and place my tea on the bedside table before sinking down to sit on the floor beside the bed. Before I can stop them the tears are running down my face and I become a complete sobbing mess, I'm not even sure why I'm crying, I've been in much worse situations than this. I think it's because things were finally starting to look up for me, I was finally back on my own two feet with an apartment and a job and now it's all gone. I'll have to tell the landlord tomorrow that I'm out of a job and have no money for the rent arrears, I'll probably end up getting evicted and I really don't want to spend another night on the streets. I decide not worry about it for tonight, no ones kicking me out tonight so I might as well indulge in a long hot shower and an early night.

After a peaceful nights sleep I woke up early again this morning, later than yesterday's early start but still early for someone unemployed. I'm in the middle of rinsing my cup from my morning tea when there's a knock at the door. It's not quite the pounding I expected from some one who wants to demand rent from someone but rather a polite knock. I walk over to door and try to listen for a clue as to who's out there. I almost leap out of my skin when they knock again.

"Who is it?" I ask.

"I have a delivery for a Miss Anastasia Steele." comes a voice from the other side of the door. I know it's not my landlord because I gave a fake name when I signed the lease, no one else knows I'm here and there's no way Marty could have followed me home after I'd maimed him.

"I'm sorry I think you have the wrong apartment, there's no one by that name here."

"I'm afraid I have strict instructions to deliver the package to this address Ma'am." Ma'am? I haven't been called that in a long time

"Well I'm not opening the door and if you leave anything of any value in these hallways it won't last two seconds." I listen against the door and breathe a sigh of relief when I hear retreating footsteps. I return to the kitchen area and place my cup on the draining board. As I make may way to the living area I notice a large white envelope has been shoved under my door, there's no name, just my address on it and I wonder why it wasn't just placed in my mailbox near the main door. Curiosity gets the better of me and I rip open the envelope, inside I find a large wad of cash and a hand written note. I have to read the note twice to really believe what I'm seeing. The note is from my boss, it's an apology for the way he behaved yesterday and to show how sincere he is he's included the wage he owes me plus a extra months pay. I'm shocked, the last thing I ever expected to get from him was an apology let alone any money that was owed to me. He must think Im going to report him for what happened, he is trying to buy my silence. I make my way over to the kitchen and set the envelope on the table. I read through the note from Marty again, it's definitely his sloppy hand writing but I never gave him my address or even told him what area I live in. The only thing he knows about me is my name and that doesn't even match the name I use for the apartment. I've tried using a false name in employment before but I always forgot to answer to my new name. I'm not to sure what to do about the money, I'd rather not go back and confront Marty about it but this is not something he would do. He only ever thought about himself. After much deliberation I decide to keep the money, it did have my name on the envelope.

It's just gone one in the afternoon when I leave the apartment to go food shopping, I decide to stop by the landlord and settle up my rent arrears before I shop, I'd rather not leave it too late and face eviction. The landlords apartment is located on the ground floor near the mail boxes. I knock loudly on the door with my hand, I hear some slight banging followed by the sound of footsteps, the door is thrown open and the doorway is blocked by a very large male, he's covered in tattoos with sleeves down both arms and a tear drop tattoo under his eye, I know from somewhere that this means he's done time in a prison, this thought makes me uncomfortable. I swallow hard before speaking.

" I'm hear to pay some rent." I say and he steps aside so I can enter the apartment. I remember the first time I came to pay my rent, I almost passed out when this big guy answered the door, I was tempted to throw the money at him and run before he was pushed aside and told to stop being rude, you see the building actually belongs to his mother, Muscles is just a front to scare people to pay their rent on time. Pamela is a woman well in her 70s but she is a fierce little old lady, I find her sat in her kitchen smoking a cigarette, she signals with her head for me to have a seat. Muscles goes to sit in the living room but from the way his body is angled towards the kitchen I can tell he's still listening to what's happening.

"What can I do for you today dearie?" She asks while stubbing her cigarette out in the overflowing ashtray.

"Well I'm here to pay some rent, I think I owe two weeks from last month and I'd like to pay for the rest of…" I slowly trail of as I catch her shaking her head.

"You don't owe two weeks." She says still shaking her head, she looks slightly puzzled.

"Oh, sorry, is it more than two I thought."

" Apartment 4b aren't you?" she interrupts me. I nod my head. "You don't owe any rent, in fact you're all set for the next three months." This throws me a bit and I'm momentarily stunned, surly she has made some mistake, I haven't paid any rent for nearly five weeks and I certainly don't have enough cash to pay for three months rent in advance.

"I think there's been some mistake, I haven't …"

"Nope no mistake" she interrupts me yet again with a clipped tone " I don't make mistakes. A young gentleman called round earlier this morning, asked if there was any money owed on your apartment, settled up and then offered to pay for the next three months." My mouth falls open, someone has paid my rent, why? And more importantly who? My thoughts drift back to the envelope from my boss and I wonder if he could have paid it for me, though that seems highly unlikely, Marty has to be the tightest man I've ever met.

"Do you know the name of the gentleman that paid this morning please, I'd like to be able to thank them." She shakes her head in answer.

"Sorry he didn't give a name, however he did pay by cheque and I haven't been to the bank yet. His name will be on there." She stands up and makes her way over to a kitchen drawer. "Now I don't normally accept cheques, not very reliable you see, they tend to bounce." She explains as she she pulls a few pieces of paper from the drawer. "But he looked more than good for it. Ah here it is, a Mr Christian Grey, that name mean anything to you?"


	4. Chapter 4

I can't do anything except nod, Christian was here in my apartment building, and he paid my rent. How the hell does he know where I live? I raise up out of the chair, I have no idea what my face looks like but it mustn't look good because as I stand so does Pamela and muscles.

"Are you ok dear, you've gone a little pale." She asks as she walks round the table placing her hand on my arm. I snatch my arm away apologising as I do.

"I'm sorry, I'm fine, I just have to go, thanks for the information." I turn and make way to the front door, muscles is already there holding it open for me, I mumble a thanks as I walk past. I make my way up to my apartment, slamming my door and leaning on it trying to catch my thoughts. Why would he do this, he told me to leave him alone why can't he offer me the same courtesy. I don't want anything from him and I certainly don't want to feel like I owe him anything. As I try to make sense of the situation my mind wanders to the money that was posted earlier today, the money that supposedly came from my boss, and I start to 'wonder if it actually came from him at all, I'm starting to think that maybe Christian had something to do with my boss overpaying me. My feet react before I do and I make my way to the kitchen grabbing the rest of the money that was going to be put away, stuffing it in my pocket as I make my way to the door. I need to know if he did this, I can't accept this money if it's his, oh who am I kidding of course it's his, this is exactly the sort of thing he loves doing. Well he can have it all back and I plan to deliver it personally.

I decide to catch the bus, using some of Christians money, it kills me to do so but the five hour walk would probably do more damage. The bus ride over to Grey House takes just over an hour and as each minute passes I feel more and more nauseous, that coupled with the fact that I haven't eaten for a few days does not make for a very comfortable bus ride. After a short walk from the bus stop I come to a stop in front of Grey House, the building looms over me, the dark overcast sky making it appear ominous with the lobby still looking as intimidating as it did all those months ago. I walk through the the glass doors and the warm air that greets me is almost stifling, a stark difference from the cold Seattle air. I ignore the woman at reception and walk with purpose to the elevators at the back, I stride straight past two security men and press the button to call the lift. I half expected security to stop me as dressed in my jeans and canvas shoes I certainly don't look like Im here on business, though I didn't recognise either of them I'm sure I saw one nudge the other when I walked past. In the lift I try to ignore the onslaught of memories that run through my mind that being in this lift conjures up. As the lift opens up on the 20th floor I can see that nothing has changed as the lobby greets me. I walk up to the desk which is currently being manned by a stunning blonde I have never seen before.

"Excuse me, is Mr Grey available?" I ask the impeccable blonde. She regards me for a moment before glancing down at some papers at her desk.

"I'm sorry Mr Grey is in a meeting right now, do you have an appointment." She says without looking up from her papers.

"No I don't, you know what I'm just going to go right in." I say as I start making my way round the desk to the double wooden doors. My heart is going a mile a minute and my hands are shaking as I reach for the door handles.

"I'm sorry Miss you can't go in there, Miss, Miss." I can hear miss blonde yelling after me as I throw the door open.

Christian is sat behind his desk tapping away on his laptop, his head snaps up and he glares towards the door as I step into the office. As soon as he sees me his expression changes from one of anger to one of complete shock and he goes to stand up. The blonde from the front desk comes to a stop beside me, she throws a dirty look my way which I return with a polite smile.

"I'm sorry Mr Grey, I told her she couldn't come in here, would you like me to call security?" She rushes out whilst batting her eyelashes in Christian's direction. Christian holds up his hand to silence her.

"No it's fine Claire, leave us and make sure I'm not disturbed." He says without taking his eyes off me.

"But sir you.."

"I said leave us!" Christian snaps at her causing her to jump a little bit.

"Of course sir." Claire replies whilst backing out the office, closing the door as she goes. As the door clicks shut I look back up at Christian, he starts to walk around his desk making his way towards me. I hold my hand up, signalling for him to stop, I reach into my pocket with the other hand and pull out the envelope containing the letter and money and hold it out in front of me.

"Are you responsible for this?" I ask trying to remain calm. He's come to a stop in front of his desk and his face is void of any emotion as he stands and stares at me.

"Why did you do this Christian, this," I say as I wave the envelope in front of me, "and paying my rent. What right do you have?" He looks down at his feet, shuffling on the spot, it almost looks like he's unsure of what to say.

"I was just trying to help" he mumbles. I don't know what to say to that, the last time I heard from Christian he had told me to stay away from him, told me he didn't want anything more to do with me and that if I should try and contact him I'd be hearing from his lawyer. So for him to stand here and tell me he wants to help is really confusing.

"Why Christian?" I ask

"Because I want to make sure you're ok, I need to know you're safe, please." He takes a step forward and I hold up my hand again signalling him to stop.

"No you can't do this, you can't just interfere with my life and bail me out when you feel like it, and don't give me money." I say as I throw the envelope at him, he doesn't even attempt to catch it, he just lets it fall to the floor "I don't want your money, I never have." Christian just continues to stare at me, the look on his face is like he can't actually believe I'm here. We continue to stare at each other and I'm not quite sure what to do or say, I want to leave but he has yet to say anything else, he hasn't even apologised for what he's done. The fact that he isn't denying having anything to do with sending that money tells me he definitely sent it. I almost leap out of my skin when his phone starts to vibrate on his desk, the noise seeming to carry on forever in the vast office. Christian turns round and picks the phone off the desk, he silences it before placing it in his trouser pocket. It's only seeing him do this that I take notice of what he's wearing, he has a pair of light grey trouser with a white button up shirt and I can see just passed his shoulder his grey jacket is thrown over the back of his chair, he's also wearing a grey tie that's slightly loosened round his neck, I can't tell which tie it is and I tell myself I really don't want to know. I decide I need to leave now before thoughts of grey ties flood my mind. "Well I should go" I say taking a step back "I'll mail you money for the rent each month."

"I don't want the money for the rent Anastasia." He rushes out before I've even finished speaking. "Please just let me do this for you."

"No. I don't want anything from you and I certainly don't want your money." I turn to walk out the door.

"Ana wait." I hear Christian call after me, I don't stop and as I reach for the door handle Christian grabs my arm and spins me round. "Please don't go." He's so close now, I haven't been this close to him for a while and the feeling that it's causing is unsettling. I want to leave this room but my back is almost touching the door, there's no way I could open it without stepping closer to Christian and If I stepped around him that would leave me standing in his office with him in front of the door effectively trapping me. As he stands there staring at me his hand slowly reaches up from his side and I think he's going to touch my face but instead he grips the top of my arm and pulls me closer to him while spinning us around so that his back is now to the door. I'm about to ask him what the fuck he thinks he's doing when his office door flies open. I can hear Christians assistant yelling at someone that they cant come in, I must have been so wrapped up in the fact that I was so close to Christian once again that I somehow missed the fact that someone was about to storm into his office. Christian turns round, his face throughly pissed and I step to the side to see who's causing all the commotion. Filling up most of the doorway is Christians brother Elliott,

"Elliott?" Christian asks "what the hell are you doing?"

"I'm sorry bro." Elliott says looking rather sheepish.

"Where is she?" I hear a shrill voice shout from just outside the office.


	5. Chapter 5

"Kate?" I watch her practically elbow Elliot out of the way and stop just inside the door way. She glances around the office before her eyes land on me. She stands there looking at me with a look of complete shock on her face then her mouth starts opening and closing like she's trying to say something but she just looks like a god damn fish. No words come out of her mouth but she starts to make her way over to me, her heels clicking on the floor as she stomps her way over. I want to tell her to stop or say I'm sorry but before I have a chance to say anything her palm collides with my face with such force that my head whips to the side. The sound of the slap seems to reverberate around the spacious office. My hand flies up to cradle my cheek and I look up to stare at Kate in complete shock. Christian comes to stand in front of me and gently pushes Kate back using her shoulders.

"Fucking hell Kate." He turns round and looks me in the eyes, his face is full of concern.

"Are you ok?" He says. I'm to shocked to do anything but nod.

"What the fuck Christian, now you're defending her, after everything she's done!" Kate's shrill voice yells. Christian turns and steps to the side so I can see Kate. Some one has closed the door and Kate and Elliot are standing just in front of it, Elliott is standing behind Kate with his hands resting on her shoulders, I suspect that he's holding her back from lunging at me again.

"She left you remember, just up and fucked off without a word." She turns her deathly glare to me and there's so much hatred in her eyes that it causes my breath to catch. "He thought your were dead, did you know that." I look over at Christian and there is so much pain on his face that it makes my heart physically hurt. "He was convinced someone had taken you and was hurting you to hurt him. He was a fucking wreck and then he got your letter. A fucking letter Ana. I have no idea what you put in that letter but I swear to god it would have been better if you had died."

"That's enough Kate!" Christian cuts in, his voice loud and stern but each word is laced with so much pain that the tightness that was currently constricting my chest worked its way up to my throat.

"No, no it's not." Kate yelled back. "Do you have any idea what it did to us when you left. Christian didn't come out of his apartment for months. And where was my letter Ana? Did our friendship honestly mean that little to you that you couldn't even let me know you were safe." I can't do anything other than shake my head.

"What then Ana! Was it Christian? Did he hurt you? Make you too scared to come back?"

"No! Of course not." I reply, my voice coming out slightly higher than I mean it to. "You don't understand..?"

"No I don't, none of us do." Kate cuts in while taking a step towards me. "Please talk to me." She pleads. Tears that I had been fighting to hold back fill my eyes and threaten to overflow as my mind races with all the words I want to say. I wanted to tell them that it wasn't their fault why I left, hell it wasn't even my fault, it was all Her's. I wanted to tell them everything that happened. But I couldn't tell them, ever. A glance over at Christian's face was enough to break me. His face said it all, he thought he was the reason I'd left, he'd probably beat himself up for months wondering what he'd done or said wrong. I felt like I was suffocating on the sobs that were stuck in my throat and I knew I needed to get out of the office. I wasn't ready to deal with any of this, it was a huge mistake coming here, what the hell was I thinking.

"Im sorry." I say to Christian though the sound is barely a whisper when it escapes my mouth. I start walking over to the office door keeping my eyes trained on my exit. Kate goes to grab my arm as I walk past her but I storm past, catching her slightly with my shoulder and causing her to stumble slightly. I throw the door open and head straight for the lift slamming my hand on the call button. I swipe my hands across my cheeks, feeling slightly betrayed at the tears that are currently steaming down my face.

"Ana wait!" I hear Christian yell from behind me, I don't turn round afraid that I'll break if I see his face again, I resort to pressing the call button on the lift over and over though I know it won't make the lift come faster. I can hear Christian and Kate yelling at one another back in his office and I'm hoping to be able to slip into the lift before they're finished. The lift dings to let me know it's arrived just as I hear footsteps.

"Ana please." he pleads as he catches up to me. I'm just about to step onto the lift when he grabs my elbow and spins me round to look at him and the moment I look at his face I want nothing more than to disappear, to dissolve into nothing and melt away into the cracks in the floor because the look on his face is heartbreaking. The is so much hurt and pain in his expression that my chest physically aches, I want nothing more than to stay and open up about everything, tell him I don't blame him for reacting the way he did because everything he thinks he knows is wrong. But I can't stay, I'd be putting people I care about at risk if I do and I think he sees it in my face, that I'm not going to stay because he releases his hold on my elbow and I step back slowly into the elevator. The doors seem to take an eternity to close and the pain only increases in Christians expression and a loud, unattractive sob erupts from my throat just as the doors are closing and I break down completely. I move backwards and lean against the back wall of the lift and try to compose myself. I wipe my face on the arm of my coat to try and remove some of the tears and snot from my face just as the lift doors open on the ground floor. I rush straight through the lobby without taking my eyes of the floor and burst through the doors out on to the streets of Seattle. I take a deep breath of fresh air and release it slowly instantly feeling slightly better. I can feel a headache coming on and my neck is full of tension from trying to hold back my sobs. As I start to relax a bit more the thought of sitting on a crowded bus for an hour seems less and less appealing so I decide to walk, hoping this will ease some of the tension I'm feeling. The dark sky has finally opened up in a light drizzle as I set off walking so I leave my hood down and let the Seattle sky cry for me.


	6. Chapter 6

Its late when I turn onto my street and the sun has long since set behind the skyline of Seattle. The clouds decided to open fully on my walk home and my raincoat did nothing to to repel the torrential downpour that accompanied me home. I am soaked to the bone and the gentle breeze that would be pleasant and welcome on a summers day is now like a thousand sharp knives stabbing my skin. My teeth are chattering as I walk into the building and I want nothing more than to get out of these wet clothes and jump straight into a nice hot shower. I locate my keys in my pocket and unsuccessfully try to unlock the door. My fingers are so numb that I end up dropping the keys, as I bend down to pick them up my apartment door opens by itself. I snap upright, gripping my keys as best as I can ready to use than as a weapon when I come face to face with Christian standing in my doorway.

"Wh-wh-wha.." I try to ask him what the hell he's doing in my apartment but my body is shaking so much that I can't get the words out.

"Ana you're soaked." Christian says stating the obvious as he pulls me into my apartment by my shoulders. "My god you're freezing, where have you been?" he asks as he starts to remove my coat. I want to stop him, to tell him to leave but my body is shaking so violently that I am powerless to do anything.

"I-I wa-w-walked." I eventually manage to spit out. I watch as his face falls as he tries to make sense of what I've just said.

"From my building?" He asks and all I can do is nod.

"Ana are you insane, you walked all that way. It's freezing out there. Anything could have happened to you." He says staring at me with a furious look on his face, it soon softens as he takes in my trembling form. I'm trying my hardest to stop my body from shaking but now my backs beginning to ache from the force of the shakes. Christian grabs my hand and starts dragging me toward the bath room.

"W-what." I start to ask him what he's doing when he interrupts me.

"Just come with me, you need to get warmed up before you freeze to death." He drags me through my bedroom to the bathroom and turns on the shower, he places his hand under the stream of water as he checks the temperature. He then turns on me and before I can even protest he picks me up and places me under the warm torrent of water, still fully clothed. The warm water feels so good that I don't even notice that Christians climbed in with me. He presses his body against mine and closes his arms around me. I squirm slightly and try to turn and look at him but he just holds me tighter.

"I need to get your body temperature up Ana, I don't want you to go into shock. Please just let me do this for you." He says the last part with such pleading in his voice that I feel awful, so against my better judgement I let him, knowing this will only make things harder. After what seems like a lifetime my body starts to relax and the tremors that shook my body subside. Christian remains standing behind me, his chest pressed against my back with his arms held around my middle and what I suspect is his cheek pressed against the top of my head. Eventually he makes a move and climbs out off the bathtub. He grabs a towel from the towel rack and wipes himself down.

"You need to take your clothes off and get into something dry. I'll go make you something warm to eat." Before I can tell him that he won't find any food in my kitchen he's out the door. I proceed to strip out of my sodden clothes placing them at the far end of the tub before standing under the shower for a few more minutes. I wash my hair and body before finally shutting off the shower and wrapping my body in the biggest towel I own. I wrap my hair in a slightly smaller one and make my way into the bedroom. There's no sight of Christian but I can hear him banging around in the kitchen and for once I'm embarrassed by how little I actually own. I root through my drawers and dig out my comfiest sweats and tank top as well as an oversized hoodie and get myself dressed. I run a comb through my hair and use the blow dryer on it. I walk over to my bedroom door and pause with my hand on the door handle. I have no idea what I'm suppose to do next, I have no idea what to say to Christian. I take a deep breath and open the door, deciding to just see what happens.

I find Christian seated in the living room, he's removing the lids off some soup containers that are on the the coffee table. I notice that he's also changed his clothes, he's no longer wearing his drenched suit but is now sporting a pair of dark wash jeans and a white T-shirt. I begin to wonder how long I was actually stood in the shower when he some how answers my unasked question.

"Taylor." He says gesturing to the food.

"Oh" I say in acknowledgement, not knowing what to say, I've never felt so out of place in my own home, even after all this time he still knows how to intimidate me.

"I got him to get us some soup as well, you didn't seem to have much in your kitchen." He says and I look at the floor, embarrassed. I rarely have cupboards full anymore but at the moment the only thing that you'll find in my cupboards are a box of one cup tea bags. I expect him to have start giving me a telling off for not looking after myself, but he seems to think better of it and bites his tongue.

"Would it be ok if I joined you? I was hoping we could eat and talk." He asks and I'm about to tell him that I really don't feel like talking when he interrupts me before my mouth is even fully open. "Or we could just eat. You don't have to tell me anything now, it just, I'd really like to have dinner with you. Please." And for a second he sounds just like a lost little boy, so unsure about himself that I feel a little sorry for him. I don't really know what to say so I just nod my head. He seems to visibly relax at this and takes a seat on the far side of the sofa and grabs his soup and begins to eat. I walk to the other side of the coffee table and kneel on the carpet in front of the table. The soup smells divine, I'm not even sure what flavour it is but the smell alone is enough to set my stomach rumbling. I'm sure Christian must hear it because he nods his head to the food.

"Please help yourself, I'd like you to be warm from the inside as well," he says with a half smile though his eyes say something different, he can tell how much weight I've lost but doesn't want to force me to eat, I can see the sadness and pity in his eyes. I pick the soup and a spoon off the table and begin to tuck in. The soup is so good that I want nothing more than to shovel it as fast as I possibly can into my mouth, but since you it's been a few days since I last ate anything I know I'd end up throwing it up. Christian clears his throat slightly so I look up at him.

"It's erm, a nice place you have here." Christian says, I let out a small giggle at his obvious attempt to make small talk.

"Christian this place is a dump" I say with a roll of my eyes. I follow his eyes as they take in my apartment, it certainly looks a lot better now than it did when I moved in. All the furnishings were left in by the previous owner and I've added little bits to it in the three and half months I've lived here. Small bits here and there like the throw to hide the hideous green sofa with the unknown stains that I'd really rather remain unknown, and the curtains and matching cushions. I haven't had enough money to refurnish the place so I've made do with what was here, it certainly looks a lot more homely now. I can feel Christians eyes boring into the side of my head and I look back at him and meet his gaze, his eyes are burning with questions and I'm not sure I'm ready to hear what he wants to ask.

"Why does your landlady have a different name listed for you?" Christian asks. Of all the things I thought he was going to ask me this wasn't very high up in the list. I shrug my shoulders and busy myself with taking a sip of my soup hoping to avoid answering the question.

"Did you use a fake name to sign the lease?" He questions further and I nod my head. "Why?"

"I just thought it was safer to remain unknown around here. It's not the nicest neighbourhood." As I finished saying that a crease appeared between Christians brows.

"Why are you living here then?" He asks. I really don't know how to answer that question, obviously I know why I live here, it's cheap, but if I tell Christian I have money troubles he'll want to help.

"If you need money Ana it's yours. All you have to do is ask." He says as though he's heard every word of my inner turmoil.

"I don't want your money Christian, I've been doing fine by myself." I say knowing it's only a half truth. I was starting to get myself back on track before yesterday.

"Really because if I hadn't have got involved yesterday your boss wouldn't have even paid you for your last shift."

"That was none of your business, how did you even know all that anyway? How in the hell did you find out where I work or live for that matter?" I say with slight annoyance in my voice. I'm intrigued to find out the answer because if he's known where I've lived all along why only now has he chose to get involved.

"After we ran into each other on the street I sent Wylds of in the direction you'd took off running."

"Who…"

"New security." He answers before I even get to finish my question. " Wylds spent all day walking the streets in hopes of seeing you again. He'd actually given up and was ready to head back. It was pure luck that he happened to call in your coffee shop for a drink. He said he'd tried to stop you as you left but you ran out so fast. Then apparently your boss came out shouting a few choice words after you." I smirk and look down at my soup as he says this. I'm sure Marty had a lot to say about me after I left. "Wylds left the shop not to long after you and followed you back to this building. He then got in touch with me and let me know what had happened."

"So then you took it upon yourself to head to my work and bully my boss into overpaying me and then you saw fit to come to my home and meddle in my affairs." I say sharply not even bothering to keep the tone of annoyance out of my voice.

"It wasn't quite like that." Christian replies in clipped tone.

"Well what was it like because from where I'm standing it looks like you deliberately got involved when you promised you wouldn't." Christian looks at me like he's thinking very carefully about what he's going to say next.

"I didn't meddle, not intentionally anyway. I went to your place of work early this morning to see if you were working. Your boss was the only person there and when I asked about you, well let's just say I didn't like what he had to say about you and neither did Taylor. I may have been a bit threatening when I asked for any wages owed to you." I raise one of my eyebrows at that last statement. I suspect a little threatening means different things to us. Christian lets out a little laugh when he sees my expression and the sound is heavenly. "I just wanted you to get what you were owed from that pitiful excuse for a man." Christian says as the playfulness fades from his eyes. "Wylds then drove us over here, where he'd seen you go into after you ran from the coffee shop. I wasn't even sure this was where you lived but it was the only thing I had to go on. I spoke with the landlady to see if she knew you, surprisingly she didn't know an Anastasia Steele but she did know someone who looked liked Ana. She wouldn't tell me which apartment was yours but she did mutter something about you not living there for much longer if you didn't pay your rent." I gulp quite loudly at this. I knew I was behind on my rent but I didn't think I was so close to being evicted. Though Pamela did state that she ran a no nonsense tenancy agreement. She told me to either pay up or get out when it came to the rent. "Ana please tell me what is going on. Why are you living like this? Are you running from someone? Are you in some kind of trouble?" I can only shake my head at his barrage of questions. "Ana I can help you, you just have to tell me what's going on." Christian pleads. I stand up and grab my empty soup container and make my way into the kitchen. I hear Christian stand up from the sofa but I don't look back at him, I try to use this time to think about what I'm going to say. Telling him the truth would probably be the easiest thing to do but where would I go from there. Things can't go back to how they use to be, too much has changed. So I settle on the lie I've been telling for months, to myself and to everyone around me.

"Christian nothing is wrong and I'm not running from anyone." I say with a half laugh trying to convince him that it sounds ridiculous. I was never a very good liar so I keep my back to him and busy myself with washing my spoon trying to avoid eye contact. "I just needed to get away from it all, if you'd known where I lived you would have interfered just like you are now."

"But why run so far so fast Ana? You never even gave me chance. You never even explained why you left. I know things were.." He pauses as he tries to think of the right thing to say. "difficult between us before you left but I thought we'd be able to work through them. Was it what I said about the baby that caused you to run." And the spoon that I'd been absentmindedly rewashing over and over clatters into the sink as I suck in a lungful of air and hold onto it to stop myself from crying out. The baby, for the first time in a long time I remember our baby and the fact that I haven't thought about him in so long makes me feel disgusted but what makes me feel worse is that Christian has no idea what happened. I whip round to look at him and the look on my face must say it all because his face crumples. "Oh Ana." And within three strides he's in front of me pulling me into his arms and engulfing me in big hug. I'm too numb to do anything other than let him hold me as I break down and cry over the life that never was.

"I'm so sorry." I say in between sobs "I lost our baby" Christian squeezes me little bit tighter as I say this. I pull my self out of his arms and proceed to wipe my nose on the sleeve of my hoodie. "God that sounds so stupid." I say more to myself. "Like I just went and misplaced something so precious"

"It doesn't sound stupid. Not at all." Christian says as he hands me a handkerchief that he pulled out of his pocket. I look up to thank him and see he has tears in his eyes as well.

"I thought you didn't want the baby." I say before I can stop myself. He's already been through so much, I don't know why I feel the need to make him feel like shit.

"After the appalling way I behaved after you told me about the pregnancy I don't blame you for thinking like that. I only said I wasn't ready to be a father, hell I don't think I'll ever be ready. But don't think for one second that that means I don't want to be or that I didn't want you and our baby." He runs his hands through his hair before making his way back into the living room where he proceeds to sit on the sofa with his head in his hands. I decide to let him have a moment or two after all I've had months to grieve and come to terms with the fact that there will be no baby but this is all new to Christian and I've no idea how he'll react. I only know things would be a thousand times worse if he knew the reason I had miscarried.

After standing, twiddling my thumbs in the kitchen for what seems like an eternity I follow Christian into the living room. He still has his head in his hands and I can't tell whether he's crying or not.

"I'm sorry Christian." I say, the words cut through the silence even though I say it as barely a whisper.

"You can't blame yourself Ana." He says without looking up.

"But I do. There are so many things I could have done differently and I wish I had." The first thing I wish I had never done was gone and got my own lunch that fateful day. It may not have changed anything, she probably still would have found a way but there will always be that what if hanging over my head.

"Ana look at me." I do as he says and lift my gaze from the floor and meet his painfully beautiful eyes that are glistening with unshed tears. "Don't you dare think that this was your fault. You had no control over it anymore than I did. These things happen and there's nothing anyone can do about it. Okay?" He says with finality.

"Okay." I answer with a nod of my head.

His phone vibrates on the table and he reaches over and silences it without even picking it up from the table.

"That'll be Kate for the thousandth time today." My heart pangs at the mention of my best friends name. I've missed her so much but she really scared me today, I've seen her unleash the Kavanagh inner bitch plenty of times before but the I've never been on the receiving end before and let me tell you it's not pretty. "She hasn't stopped ringing since Elliot dragged her out of my office."

"What does she want?" I stupidly ask. Of course I know what she wants but I ask anyway.

"I have no idea, she probably wants to know where you're living these days. But after the way she acted at my office I don't think it's safe to let her know." I internally cringe as I remember the sound of the slap echoing of the walls and I subconsciously raise my hand to rub my cheek. "I am sorry about that back at my office, I had no idea she was there. I had just had lunch with Elliot and he happened to see you walking through the main entrance as he was waiting for Kate to pick him. He then made the mistake of telling Kate that he'd seen you. She shouldn't have hit you, that was way out of line."

"No, no it wasn't, I deserved it and so much more. She was right I should have let her know I was okay but I didn't. She has every right to be pissed." His phone vibrates on the table again and this time he picks it up. He lets out a sigh and stands up whilst sliding his phone in his pocket.

"Is everything ok?" I ask as his face looks defeated.

"Yes it's just, I have to go."

"Oh." Is all I can say. I knew he'd have to leave at some point but its been so easy to forget that the last year ever happened and now I really don't want him to leave.

"I have a meeting in New York and if I don't fly out now I'll be late." He says as though he has to justify leaving to me. He steps around the coffee table and takes a few steps towards me. My breath catches at his close proximity to me. He raises his hand and very gently strokes my cheek with the back of his hand.

"Promise me you'll be here when I get back. Promise me you won't run. I'd really like to see you again when I get back. Please." He pleads with me and I swear you can physically hear my heart breaking.

"I promise." I whisper in response. He grins down at me before leaning down and kissing the top of my forehead. It's such a sweet chaste kiss yet it sends deep shivers straight down my spine. He turns and makes his way to the door but pauses with his hand on the latch.

"Good night Anastasia." He says without looking at me.

"Good night Christian." I respond and with that he's gone, the sound of the door clicking shut echoes in the wake of his exit. I walk over to the door and lock all the latches before turning round and bracing myself on the back of the door. I reach up and lightly touch the spot on my forehead where Christian had just kissed. I find myself smiling as I wonder how the hell I got myself into this and just what the hell am I suppose to do now.


	7. Chapter 7

I awoke the next morning feeling exhausted both mentally and physically. After Christian had left I collapsed straight into bed. I was feeling drained and thought I'd be asleep in minutes but as I lay alone in bed I started to overthink everything. I kept wondering why Christian had gone through so much effort to track me down and why he was suddenly so concerned about me. After I had managed to get myself out of the situation I found myself in, I ran and part of me thought I'd seen the last of her. I'd deliberated going back to Christian and telling him everything that had happened, telling him that the note that she'd made me write, well none of it was true. But I never got to see him because one day I was served with divorce papers from a lawyer, complete with graphic pictures of my new replacement and a letter stating that any further contact should be done through his lawyers. I still have the papers, I never signed them, I don't think I ever could, not without speaking to him about them first. Eventually my brain couldn't string together a coherent thought so I started to drift off only to be awoken by a loud thud and a lot of shouting. From what I could hear, which was a lot thanks to the paper thin walls, my neighbours were having a rather loud lovers tiff. The argument went on well into the night and numerous other neighbours contributed to the noise by yelling at them to shut up or by banging on the wall. I'm assuming it eventually got violent as at one point there was an almighty bang and the wall above my head shook as though someone had been thrown against it. This was followed by a lot more banging and screaming and I was genuinely becoming concerned. I got out of bed and went to double check the locks on my door.

"I swear to god if you don't shut the fuck up I'm gunna break this fucking door down and make you." Someone shouted from in the hallway. All I could think was what nice, friendly neighbours I have. I decided to wait in out in the living room, afraid to go back into my room in case they came crashing through the wall. It was another hour or so before the police turned up and broke up the fight by dragging the man screaming and shouting out of the building. I could see him from my front room window putting up a hell of a fight as they tried to shove him into the police car. Thinking it would be safe to get back in bed and finally get some sleep I made my way back into the bedroom only to be met with the sounds of a wailing woman. I lay down and tried to drift off but every time I thought the woman had settled down she'd start crying all over again, howling louder than before. Admitting defeat I grabbed my quilt and pillow and dragged it to the living room and lay on the sofa. I was asleep within minutes but regretted it the moment I woke up with a stiff neck once again.

After returning my quilt and pillow back into the bedroom I make my way into the kitchen and switch the kettle on. I'm shocked when I glance at the clock and see it's almost noon, though it's not surprising after all the excitement last night that I would sleep in. Opening the cupboards to get my teabags out I have to look twice, my usually empty cupboards are packed full of food. There's pasta and tinned soups crammed in there as well as crackers and jars of sauces. I slam the cupboard shut silently cursing Christian and his interfering ways. I should have known he'd do something like this and although I'm grateful I just don't want him bailing me out when he feels like it. Opening the cupboard again I take out a tea bag and help myself to a couple of the breakfast bars in there. Knowing there's nothing I can do about it now seeing as he's miles away in New York I vow to pay him back every penny. After finishing my breakfast I go and change into some clothes and grab my shoes and coat. It's time that go job hunting in the city. Finding a job really isn't that hard, there are plenty of little shops and bars hiring. My problem comes when I ask to be paid cash in hand, I really don't want to create a paper trail that a certain someone can follow.

After a brief walk I find myself in a slightly busier part of the city and after a few polite refusal from various businesses I find myself walking into a bar with a sign stating they are looking for bar staff. As I walk into the bar I'm surprised by how busy it is. Almost every table is full and from the smell in the air I can only guess they serve food. I make my way towards the bar and wait for the bar tender to finish serving his customer.

"What can I get for you Miss?" The man behind the bar asks, he looks slightly older than me though I wouldn't say too much older.

"I'm here to enquire about the job advertised in your window, who would I have to speak to about that?" I ask whilst looking down the bar to see if there's anyone else working.

"Well that would be me. I'm the owner of this place, names Finn." He says with a smile as he reaches his hand out for me to shake. I'm slightly shocked by the fact that he owns the bar as I didn't think he looked that much older than myself but then I think of Christian and how he has amassed so much in such a short time and realise it's not that crazy for him to own this bar.

"I'm Ana." I say as I shake his hand.

"So do you have any previous experience working in a bar Ana?" He asks as he leans over the bar slightly, I'm guessing it's so he can hear my answers better as it is quite loud.

"No." I answer honestly "I did just finish working in a very busy coffee shop so I have some experience working within a fast paced customer environment."

"Sounds good, you will be fully trained before you start so experience isn't really that important. I'm looking for someone to cover the evening shifts and a couple of the lunchtime shifts during the week, is that okay with you?"

"Yes that would be fine, it's not a problem, I can work whenever you need me to." I say.

"The evening shift starts at seven and finishes at two in the morning sometimes three, would this be a problem?"

"No." I say whilst also shaking me head. "That's not a problem at all."

"Great." He says with a wide smile. "Can you come in Friday at 4? This will give you time to get trained up before starting at 7."

"Yea I can do that." I reply.

"Okay then, well do you have any questions for me?" He asks and I know it's time to ask if I can be paid cash in hand in order to avoid detection.

"Well actually I was wondering how you normally pay your staff, it's just I'm due to start college next September and I've applied for all theses grants and they like to know how much your earning and I'm worried if I have to declare any income I might not get the grants." I ramble out, it is a well rehearsed lie that doesn't have an ounce of truth in it.

"Come in Friday and we'll sort out all the details then. It shouldn't be a problem though." he says with a smile.

"Really?" I ask slightly shocked, I'm so used to hearing no to that question that it's thrown me a bit. He just nods and leans back. "Well I guess I'll see you Friday at 4." I say with a genuine smile on my face.

"See you Friday Ana." He says as he makes his way down the bar to serve a group of men who'd just arrived. I walk out of the doors and start to make my way home. I feel so much better now that I've found a job and will have a steady income coming in, it feels like a huge weight has been lifted of my shoulders.

I make it to the front of my apartment building within twenty minutes and I make a mental note to myself to set off half an hour before work starts so that I'll never be late. As I climb the stairs to my floor I start rummaging through my pockets for my keys, I find them just as I reach the top step and from here I can see my apartment door but somethings not right, from here it looks like it's slightly open. I walk the few steps down the hallway to my door and find it is indeed open. I could of sworn I locked it before I set of, I always lock it. I try to think back to this morning but it's impossible to remember, locking my door is just something I do without even thinking about that I can't even be sure if I did it. I lean in slightly to see if I can hear anyone inside but it sounds quiet and looking at the locks they don't appear to have been tampered with. I silently chastise myself for being so careless and make my way inside. I stop just inside the doorway with the door wide open and look around my apartment. It's a mess, it looks like a tornado made its way through my living room, by the looks of it nothing has been left untouched. Someone has definitely been in my apartment. It feels like there's bubble in my throat and I struggle to fight back tears. It's starting to constantly feel like I'm taking one step forward and two giant leaps back in life. My shoulders sag as I make my way into the living room and any euphoric feeling I felt earlier is instantly gone. There is paper all over the floor and it takes me a while to realise that whoever was in my apartment has ripped the pages out of every book I own. I glance over towards my bedroom wondering what awaits me in there. I don't own much and have nothing of value that would be worth stealing, I'm more upset about my books. I don't have a lot of money to spend on luxuries like books so I cherish each one I buy and I keep a lot of my books stored in the bedroom. I make my way over to the bedroom and push open the bedroom door. I'm about to step inside but freeze at the doorway and my heart jumps up into my throat. There is a man in my bedroom, a large man dressed in black with his hood up. He's leaning over the bed with his back to me rifling through my clothes that he's dragged out of the drawer. I slowly take a step back ready to sneak out of the apartment and run as far and as fast as my legs will carry me when the door that I had slowly pushed open makes a loud squeaking noise it normally does when it's pushed past a certain point. The mans head snaps up and he spins round to look for the source of the noise. My heart stops beating and I let out a little squeak as his eyes meet mine. My mind knows I should be running but my feet don't seem to want to cooperate. The man starts charging towards me and my feet seem to find some sense and I take a step back and start to turn towards the living room when the man collides with my side. He barrels past me and his shoulder knocks into my shoulder sending me spinning round and towards the floor. I throw my hands out to take the brunt of the fall and as they make contact with the floor pain explodes through my left shoulder and my hands give way and I collide with the the floor hard. I let out a grunt of pain as I feel like all the air has been sucked out of my lungs. I turn my head to the left and see the man half run out of my front door, relief flows through me at the thought that he has left, obviously spooked by my appearance. I find my breath again and greedily suck in a large lungful before releasing it slowly. Pain is radiating all down my left side starting at my shoulder. I know I need to get up and lock the door but as soon as I try to move any part of my body a pain that makes me feel sick to my stomach shoots down the whole left side of my body, it's a pain I've felt before and I know that the fall has dislocated my shoulder. Black spots start to swim before my eyes and I try my hardest to fight the blackness that is approaching but my body can't cope with the amount of pain it's being put through and I eventually just give up fighting and let the black spots take over my vision.

I awake to the sound of voices and I'm instantly terrified at the thought that the man who was rummaging through my apartment has come back so I lay still and keep my eyes closed as I listen to what's going on. It sounds like two men talking to one another but I can't make out what they're saying as they sound so far away. I feel very disoriented as I'm not quite sure where I am since I still haven't opened my eyes. It still feels like my cheek is pressed against my apartment floor from where I passed out but without opening my eyes I can't be sure but I don't want to let whoever is close by know that I'm awake just yet. I strain my ears trying to hear more of what the men are saying and manage to catch a bit of the conversation.

"Sir, we really shouldn't move her. We don't know what injuries she has received and moving her could do more damage than good."

"I know that, of course I know that. I just feel so helpless. This is all my fault. I should never have left her here, god what was I thinking."

"The ambulance should be here very shortly." I can hear what they're saying but my brain feels foggy and I can't quite understand what they're saying, instead I try and place the voices. I know I recognise them, the last one sounded familiar, it sounded very calm and authoritative. In fact it sounded an awful lot like Taylor, Jason Taylor. But if Taylor's here then that must mean that the other person is Christian. I let out a groan more at the situation I find myself in than at the pain that has started to radiate down my left side.

"Ana." I hear two small steps and open my eyes to see Christian kneel down beside me. I look past him to see that I am still lay on my apartment floor where I fell. My apartment door is still wide open though now it's mostly filled with the body of Jason Taylor. He looks very much on edge, his eyes are darting round the apartment, as though a threat is still in the room and about to jump out at any minute.

"Ana." At the sound of my name I move my eyes and focus on Christian. His face is etched with worry and I suddenly realise how bad this looks. My apartment has very obviously been burgled and I'm passed out on the floor of my living room with my front door wide open in a neighbourhood with a very high crime rate. I suddenly feel sorry for Christian having to walk in to that.

"Ana are you ok, can you hear me?" He asks with worry lacing every word.

"Yes. I'm ok." I mean to say it with as much strength in my voice to prove that I am okay but what comes out of my mouth is nothing more than a pathetic whisper. "I'm fine really." I say and to prove that I am I make a move and start pushing myself up with my right hand and lifting my head off the floor whilst ignoring the pain it sends down my body.

"Ana no don't get up, the paramedics are on their way, you could be seriously injured, please." I cringe at the thought of paramedics turning up for a dislocated shoulder and I'm about to tell Christian that they really won't be necessary when I see him in reach out his hand. He places it on my shoulder and pushes down what I assume is a gentle push to guide me back down to the floor but the minute his hand closes around my shoulder pain explodes from the joint. As he gently pushes down I can actually feel the bone grinding against the top of the socket and before I can stop myself I scream out in pain and collapse back to the floor, pressing my cheek hard into the floor as if that will some how help. Christian snatches his hand back so fast and I lie on the floor panting through the waves of pain currently shooting down my arm.

"Ana! What is it? What's wrong?" Christian asks in a rush and I open my eyes to see him knelt beside me cradling his hand to his chest and staring at me with so much worry on his face.

"It's… My… Shoulder." I gasp out "It's…dislocated." I say as I close my eyes and try to steady my breathing.

"I'm sorry. Ana I. I didn't. I'm sor…"

"Sir the paramedics are here." Taylor interrupts Christian's apologising and I let out a large groan.

"I don't need the paramedics Christian, it's just a dislocated shoulder." I say and it would probably sound more convincing if I weren't saying it in a pained whisper through gritted teeth.

"Don't be ridiculous Ana, you're going to the hospital." Christian says with finality in his voice. I'm about to argue more when I hear footsteps coming to a stop just outside the apartment.

"Did you call for paramedics?" I hear a female voice ask.

"Yes, she's in there. 23 year old female, was unconscious when we arrived, is now awake and talking and presenting with a possible dislocated shoulder. I haven't been able to rule out any other injuries." Taylor replies.

"Okay and what's the patients name?"

"Anastasia Grey" Christian answers for him and I resist the urge to roll my eyes under my eyelids. I open my eyes to see Christian move out of the way and the paramedic take his place.

"Hi Anastasia, my names Amy, can you tell me what happened and where it hurts?" She asks as she places her bag beside her and starts unzipping it. I look past her and see Christian standing in the doorway talking with Taylor and another paramedic, who is writing stuff down on the back of his gloved hand. "Anastasia can you hear me? Can you tell me where it hurts?" I look back at paramedic Amy and see her smiling down at me waiting for me to answer.

"Erm. My shoulder." I reply. "I think I dislocated it when I fell."

"Okay that's good. Does it hurt anywhere else?" She asks and I think about it. The only pain I can feel is radiating from my shoulder.

"No." I reply through gritted teeth as she starts gently squeezing my shoulder.

"Good, good. Now when you fell did you hit your head?" She asks and I try to think back. I didn't hit it on anything on the way down but I'm not to sure whether I hit it on the floor when my arms gave way.

"I'm not sure." I say. "I can't remember."

"That's fine, don't worry too much about it. Now your shoulder is definitely dislocated so you're gunna need to have that popped back into place at the hospital. Now because you were unconscious when you were found and you don't remember falling I'm going to recommend you get checked over by a doctor. Just to be on the safe side." She says with a smile which I return but the thought of going into hospital makes me feel sick to my stomach. Amy stands up and makes her way over to the door to speak with her colleague and I watch Christian make his way over and crouch down next to me.

"Hey, how you doing?" He asks with a sad smile. I'm not sure how to answer that, my shoulder is killing me, I feel sick and dizzy from the pain, and I am dreading going to the hospital where they'll ask questions and want details from me. In the end I don't answer and just return his sad smile instead.

"Okay Anastasia we're gunna try and secure your arm to your side before we get you on the stretcher, it'll make the journey less painful." Amy says as she comes to a stop beside me, I can see she's holding a black strap with Velcro on it. Christian takes this as his cue to leave and gets up and walks over by the door. Amy proceeds to tell me exactly how they are going to secure my arm and offers me some nitrous oxide which I politely decline, I'm already mortified by the situation I'm in, I'd rather not make a fool of myself on the laughing gas. "Right well do you have my questions about whats about to happen."

"No, no questions." I say with a small smile.

"Okay great. Now let me know when you're ready to go and we'll get started." I take a moment to take a couple of deep breaths. I know this is going to hurt, it's not the first time I've dislocated my shoulder and moving about whilst the arm is still out of the socket is one of the most painful experiences I've had. I close my eyes before letting them know I'm ready.

"Okay I'm ready." I say and grit my teeth as I wait for the pain. The guy places his hands on either side of my head, lifting it slightly so he can get his hands under my cheeks, and applies sight pressure to stop me from moving as Amy pushes me from my right side to slide the band under. As she pushes me forward my left shoulder presses into the floor causing the bone to move up slightly and pain to shoot across my chest. I let out a low groan through my gritted teeth knowing this is the easy part of what's to come. As Amy sets my right side down she doesn't give me chance to breathe let alone brace myself for what's about to come. She reaches over and clamps her hand around the top of my arm and pulls me towards her to flip me onto my back. There's very little I can do to stop the scream that erupts from my mouth. My eyes fly open as she reaches down and grabs my hand and settles across my chest and works on strapping down my arm. I stop screaming and try to suck in as much air as I can but I can't seem to get enough air into my lungs. I start to gasp and black spots start to swim before my eyes again. I don't even fight it this time, I just let the black spots take over and for the second time that day I pass out.


	8. Chapter 8

I slowly open my eyes and I'm instantly confused when I don't see the ceiling of my apartment. It felt like I had only just closed my eyes. I try to move my head to the side to see where I am but find I can't move it at all. I move my eyes to the side and see that my head is strapped in to a head brace. A face appears directly above me and it takes me a while to realise that it's the paramedic from before.

"Hello Ana, welcome back." She says as she proceeds to shine a torch over my eyes. "How are you feeling." She asks.

"Okay, I think." I answer though I'm feeling very confused. I don't remember getting up from my apartment floor and now I don't even know where I am.

"Good, that's good. We're still in the ambulance at the moment, we're about five minutes away from the hospital." She says as though she can read my mind. Though being a paramedic she probably has a lot of experience with people passing out and waking up confused. She moves out of my line of sight and I can only guess that she's taken a seat beside me. As I lay there staring at the roof of the ambulance I'm suddenly aware that someone is holding my hand, not just holding it grasping on to it as though I might disappear somehow. At first I think it's the paramedic holding my hand but quickly dismiss that idea as the person holding my hand isn't wearing any gloves. The only other person it could be is Christian though I didn't think he'd want to ride in the ambulance with me.

"Christian?" I say his name as a question unsure of what else to say.

"Yea Ana, I'm here," he answers and squeezes my hand as though to emphasise that point. I really don't know what I'm suppose to say so I remain silent hoping that the fact that I'm in pain is a good excuse for my silence.

As I arrive at the hospital I'm wheeled straight through to a trauma room where I am poked, prodded and examined before being told there's nothing wrong with my neck or back and I can finally remove the ridiculous head brace and have my bed propped up, it's a relief to be able to look around the room and not have to stare at the ceiling any longer. They have confirmed my shoulder is dislocated and I am currently waiting for a doctor to come in to pop it back into place, in the meantime I have been allowed to have a small cocktail of painkillers which have left me feeling slightly hazy. Christian is currently sat at my bedside tapping away on his blackberry. He has refused to leave the room since we arrived.

"You don't have to stay you know." His head snaps up and his eyes meet mine as I say this. "I don't want to be keeping you from anything" I say as I glance down at his phone before looking back at him.

"I know I don't have to stay." He replies as he slides his phone into his jacket pocket. "I want to be here. And don't worry you're not keeping me from anything important, nothing is more important than making sure you're safe." I smile at his response before shaking my head to try an remove the haze the painkillers are causing.

"Why do you say stuff like that, you know it's very confusing to know where I stand with you when your all kind and caring not too long after revealing you hate my guts." I rush out, feeling slightly confident with the high the painkillers are causing.

"Ana, I don't hate you, why…" Before he can finish his sentence the door swings open and in walks an older man.

"Hello Mrs Grey, I'm the orthopaedist on call this evening, I'm Dr Fielding. How are you doing so far, have you been given any thing for the pain?" He asks whilst holding what I assume are my X-Ray's up to the light.

"It's Ana please, and yes I've been given some very good painkillers." I reply with a smile.

"Excellent, well from looking at your X-rays I can see it's a straight forward dislocation and hopefully shouldn't take to much manipulating before it pops into place. After that we'll X-ray it again to make sure it's in place and all being well you should be on your way home in no time. Do you have any questions for me?" I shake my head in answer. I know how this goes from previous experience although last time it wasn't done by a doctor and I had zero pain relief, this should be a breeze compared to last time.

"Right, now I'm going to need you to sit up nice and straight for me." I sit forward and try to ignore the wave of nausea that sitting up caused and try and focus on what the doctors doing. He starts to undo the support strap that's holding my arm to my chest before bringing my arm to rest at my side. "You're more than welcome to hold your husbands hand while I do this." He says whilst looking between me and Christian.

"Oh, that's…" I start to say that it's okay and he doesn't need to hold my hand but Christian is already at my side holding my right hand between his two.

"Don't worry about squeezing to hard." He says with a grin on his face. I return his smile and find myself gripping onto his hand as the doctor starts to move my arm in circles. He brings my arm round and as it reaches out just in front of me I feel my arm pop back into the shoulder joint. The pain of the joint popping back into place causes me to turn towards Christian and bury my face into his chest whilst gripping his hand with all I have. Eventually the pain starts to subside and as I start to relax a bit more I find myself sagging into Christian more and more. I stupidly inhale his scent and feel a pang in my chest as I smell his familiar scent, he smells like Christian and expensive body wash. At some point one of Christian's hands has found its way to the back of my head and his fingers are woven into my hair as though he's holding me in place.

"Okay, well this looks good so far, I'll get a nurse to come and put a sling on and I'll see you again when you've been for your other X-ray." I bring my head up and away from Christian's chest and his hand drops from the back of my head. I lean back on the bed and rest my head on the pillows closing my eyes. I suddenly feel exhausted, as though the day's events have just caught up. I open my eyes and look over at Christian, he's still standing beside my bed holding my hand. He's staring straight ahead looking at nothing in particular on the wall. I give his hand a small squeeze and his eyes snap over to mine.

"Thanks. For being here." I say and he smiles down at me but the smile doesn't reach his eyes.

"It's my pleasure Ana." He says with that same sad smile as he squeezes my hand in response. The nurse chooses that moment to walk in, smiling at the both of us before walking towards me with a sling in her hand. Christian gives my hand one last squeeze before going to sit in the chair beside my bed. The nurse places the sling over my head and settles my arm inside, she then adjusts the straps making sure my arm rests comfortably inside it.

"Okay Mrs Grey I'm just going to get a wheelchair and then I'll take you down to X-ray." I nod in acknowledgement and she rushes out the room. I'm guessing that now I don't have suspected neck and back injuries I don't get the perks of having to use the portable X-ray. The nurse comes back into the room and places the wheelchair at the foot of the bed. She starts to make her way round to me but Christian beats her to it and before I can register what's happening he's picking me up bridal style and placing me in the wheelchair with such ease and gentleness that had I not had my eyes open I wouldn't even know I'd moved. I let out a giggle as he goes to straighten up.

"I could have gotten myself in the chair you know?" I say as I look up at him. He looks down at me with a genuine smile on his face and I get the feeling he feels better feeling useful for something. The nurse starts to push me out the room and Christian goes to follow.

"Mr Grey there's really no need for you to come, you can wait here. Mrs Grey shouldn't be too long." I can see his face drop and I know the last thing he wants to be doing is sitting here feeling useless yet again. I instantly have an idea that I know will keep him busy.

"Hey." I say looking up at him. I wait for him to stop giving the poor nurse a death glare before I continue. "I'm feeling rather hungry, I haven't eaten since this morning and it must be getting late, do you think you could find out if I'm allowed to eat anything when I get back from X-ray." I look at him with sad pleading eyes hoping that he'll buy it. The truth is I'm not really hungry, whatever pain medication they have me on is causing my stomach to do summersaults. Christian looks down at me and a crease forms between his eyebrows.

"Why didn't you tell me you were hungry before, I would have gotten you something to eat." I shrug my good shoulder in answer. "I'll go and speak with a nurse and see what I can get you." He says and he walks past us like a man on a mission.

"Right lets get you down to X-ray Mrs Grey." The nurse says politely, I had forgotten she was standing there for a moment.

As the nurse pushes me back into the room I'm currently occupying my mouth falls open at the sight that greets me.

"I take it I'm allowed to eat then." I say in a half laugh causing Christian to look up from his phone. I look over to the bed where what can only be described as a feast is laid out. There are a bunch of food containers set out on two of the portable tables normally found in hospital rooms plus more food on a small silver tray normally used for medical equipment.

"Hey." Christian says as he pockets his phone and starts to make his way over to me. He leans down and once again picks me up and walks over to the bed before placing me on the side of the bed. I decide against climbing into the bed properly and just settle on leaving my feet dangling over the side, the bed is set high up that my feet don't reach the floor. "So the doctor said you're okay to eat tonight. Regardless of what comes back on your X-rays you won't be having surgery tonight." I feel a lead weight drop in the pit of my stomach as he finishes talking.

"Surgery?" I question, my voice wavering slightly. "I need to have surgery? But the doctor said I could go home, he never mentioned surgery." I'm starting to panic. I can't afford to have surgery, I don't have insurance or the money to cover that, hell I can't even pay for the two X-rays I just had.

"Hey it's ok, calm down." Christian says stepping closer to me. "There's a good chance you won't need surgery, the doctor just said that sometimes when a shoulder is dislocated, the tissue in the joint can become damaged and if it's not repaired the joint could just keep dislocating."

"Okay, that's okay I guess." I say looking down at my feet, I come to the conclusion that if it's not an urgent surgery I can always refuse to have it done. My stomach decides to choose this one and only time that it's been silent to make its self heard, I'm sure it can smell the delicious aroma that is currently cancelling out the usual hospital smell. I wrap my good arm around my stomach as if that will some how mute the sound of the rumbling, and look up at Christian with a grin on my face. Christian wheels one of the tables in front of me and unwraps a set of cutlery.

"I wasn't sure what you'd want to eat so I got a bit of everything." Christian says as he takes a seat in the chair.

"I can see that."I say whilst lifting the lid on one of the containers in front of me. Inside I find a large amount of pasta in a creamy white sauce. The smell that erupts along with the steam is mouthwatering. "You know I would have been okay with a sandwich from the cafeteria." I say looking at him with a look I hope says I appreciate this but it's a bit much.

"I know you would have but this isn't just for you, I haven't eaten today either." He remarks as he pulls one of the tables towards him as if to make a point. "And don't worry about wasting any, I saw a few nurses eyeing the food containers on the way in, I'm sure they'd be happy to take any leftovers off our hands." He smiles at me as he says this.

"Where did all this come from anyway?" I ask just before I place some pasta in my mouth. The taste is heavenly, the sauce taste like mushroom with a hint of garlic and I'm sure a bit of white wine. Christian takes this as his cue to begin eating his food as he starts to open some of the containers as he answers.

"I sent Taylor across the street to an Italian restaurant, I'm not particularly keen on hospital food."

"Huh, I didn't even know Taylor was here." I say before delving back into the pasta.

An hour and three containers of food later I am stuffed and exhausted. Christian has moved the table of food to the foot of the bed and I am now lay back down resting my head on the pillows. Whilst we were eating Christian filled me in on what's been happening at my apartment. Shortly after we left in the ambulance the police arrived to take statements. Taylor stayed behind to tell them briefly what had happened. They apparently checked the apartment but found nothing incriminating and said they would need a statement from me but the likely hood of catching the guy are pretty slim. I can't say this shocks me, the area I live in the police are too concerned with petty crimes like burglary, the likelihood is it was just a junkie looking for something to sell to buy his next fix. I tell Christian everything that happened, from coming home to find my door open to finding the man in the bedroom. I tell him how stupid I feel for forgetting to check that my door was locked but he tells me that's not important, the worse thing I did was go into the apartment and further still remain in the apartment after I'd realised someone had been in there. I try to argue that I had listened and it sounded like the apartment was empty, even when I was stood in the living room I couldn't hear him moving around the bedroom. He tells me I should have rang the police and waited. I don't bother to try and tell him that I would have been waiting all night for the police to arrive for a suspected burglary in my neighbourhood. Instead I just nod and tell him that I'll do that if it ever happens again. We fell into silence after that which is why I decided to lay back on the bed. It feel like a lifetime has passed before the doctor walks into the room.

"Hello again Mrs Grey, hows the pain?" He asks looking over to my shoulder.

"Nothing more than a dull ache." I answer as I sit forward in the bed. I wouldn't necessarily say it was a dull ache but it's not the worst pain I've felt and at the moment I'll say anything if it'll get me out of the hospital quicker.

"Good, that good. Now I'm happy to say your X-rays look fine, there's some minor swelling around the joint but that's to be expected after this type of injury. Now I'd like you to keep your arm rested in the sling for two to three weeks, avoid using your arm as much as possible in this time to allow the soft tissue around the joint to heal. I'll be sending you home with a leaflet with some exercises on that I'd like you to start doing after three weeks, these exercises are important to help relieve muscle stiffness and strengthen the joint. For pain relief I recommend paracetamol and ibuprofen, also an ice pack applied for about ten minutes tends to take the edge off. Okay that's about it, do you have any questions for me." I shake my head, it all seems pretty much straight forward, don't use the arm and it will get better. "Ok I'll go and get your discharge papers and we can get you on your way." He turns and leaves the room, from the corner of my eye I see Christian stand from his chair.

"I'll be back in a moment." He says without looking at me and walks out the room closing the door behind him. I try to see where he's going but he disappears down the corridor and out of sight. I swing my legs over the side of the bed and sit and wait for either Christian or the doctor to come back. It's Christian who arrives back first pushing a wheelchair with a playful grin on his face. "Ok that's the paperwork sorted, apparently hospital policy states that you have to leave the hospital in a wheelchair so I kindly offered to push you out."

"No." I say "No way, you just made that up. There's no way I'm letting you push me out of here in that." I look over at the wheelchair in disgust.

"It's hospital policy Ana, plus with the strength of those painkillers you've been given I doubt you're fit to walk."

"Don't be ridiculous, I'm fine." I say and as to prove my point I jump down off the bed. As soon as my feet hit the floor I realise what a bad idea that was, not only does pain shoot through my shoulder but I instantly get a major head rush from moving too fast. I sway on the spot and Christian reaches out to grab me, I clasp on to his arm tight and shut my eyes as I wait for the room to stop spinning.

"Ana are you ok?" I want to nod my head but I'm afraid it will set the dizziness off again.

"Yeah," I whisper. "Just a bit of head rush, I've been sat down to long." I slowly open my eyes and look up to see Christians staring at me with a look of worry on his face, I offer him a small smile to show that I'm okay and he instantly returns it.

"So, do you still want to walk out of the hospital then?" He says condescendingly as he reaches over and grabs my coat from the back of the chair.

"Have I not been humiliated enough for one day?" I ask him as I put my one good arm in my coat and let Christian loosely drape the other side over my shoulder.

"Apparently not, now sit." He nods in the direction of the wheelchair whilst he shrugs his own coat on. I begrudgingly lower myself carefully into the chair. I watch as Christian glances round the room making sure he hasn't forgotten anything. "Right that's everything," he says as he comes to stand behind the chair. "Let's go."

"Wait." I shout out. "I haven't signed my discharge papers."

"Don't worry I took care of it, it's all sorted, you're good to go." I try to turn round and face him but I can't rotate enough in the chair to see his face.

"What do you mean you took care of it, what about my aftercare leaflets and what about the costs? Christian I haven't even told them my address."

"Taylor has all the paperwork including your aftercare leaflets, he's waiting for us in the car."

"But what.."

"Come on, we can't keep Taylor waiting, he's parked in the drop off zone." He says whilst pushing me through the doorway and into the hallway, effectively ending the conversation.

After Christian has helped me get into the car and fastened my seatbelt we finally pull out of the hospital grounds. I instantly feel relieved, I can't stand hospitals, everything from the smell to the overly cheerful nurses makes my skin crawl. I stare out the window and watch the scenery go by, it's only when we pull onto a freeway that I realise we're going in the wrong direction to my apartment.

"Christian, where are we going? My apartments back that way." I say looking over at him, he meets my gaze and his expression is neutral.

"You're not going back to your apartment Anastasia." I stare at him waiting for him to offer some form of explanation but he just continues to stare me down.

"And why may I ask am I not going back to my apartment." I say putting emphasis on the my.

"Ana your apartment was just burgled, you were attacked in your own home, it's not safe for you to go back there, plus it's a crime scene now, you have to wait for the police to finish their investigation."

"Bullshit!" I exclaim. "You told me back at the hospital that there was nothing more the police could do."

"It's not safe for you to go back there Ana, why can't you grasp that."

"Oh don't be so dramatic, homes get broken into everyday in even the nicest of neighbourhoods. I'm fine and it's fine for me to go back to my apartment."

"What if he had had a gun, Anastasia or a knife." I watch as his eyes cloud with horror as he pictures all the different outcomes that could have happened. "What if after he'd knocked you down he didn't just leave the apartment but came back to take advantage of the defenceless woman lying on the floor." His voice shakes and he turns away from me to stare out of his window.

"Christian." I start to reach out to touch him but think better of it, I'm not sure what to say to him at the moment.

"I can't let you go back there Ana, I just, do you know what it was like to walk into your apartment and see you like that, I thought you were dead, I thought I'd lost you again, and I can't lose you, I just found you, I can't lose you again." He looks over at me and there are tears streaming down his face. My heart breaks at the sight of him and all I want to do is to stop his pain. I undo my seatbelt and slide closer to him. I reach up and touch the side of his face and rub some of his tears away with my thumb. He closes his eyes and presses his face into my hand.

"Christian it's okay, I'm right here, you're not gunna lose me." He reaches up and gently places his hand over my hand. "Hey look at me." I demand, he's eyes shoot open and he searches my face. "I'm fine Christian, I'm right here." I say as I look into his eyes, he lets go of my hand and leans forwards pulling me into a hug, burying his face into my neck. I feel his body heaving with quiet sobs. I hadn't even stopped to think about what this must have been like for him, he hid it so well in the hospital that I thought he was fine. It must have been terrifying to walk into my apartment to find it ransacked and find me passed out on the floor. After his body has stopped shaking with sobs he pulls back to look at me.

"Come and stay with me, whilst your shoulder is healing. I can take care of you Ana."

"Christian I."

"Please Ana, you can't stay on your own with your shoulder like that, I can look after you, just until you're better, please Ana say yes." He pleads. I can list a million reasons why it would be a bad idea to go and stay with Christian but against my better judgement I find my self nodding in answer to his question.


	9. Chapter 9

It's been three days since I agreed to stay at Christian's and it has been the longest three days of my life. Don't get me wrong I am very grateful for everything Christian is doing for me but I've felt like I haven't been able to breathe since I arrived here, Christian has made sure I've wanted for nothing and has hovered over me like I'm fine china about to shatter into a million pieces. Upon arriving at Escala I instantly started to regret saying yes to staying here, the apartment had remained unchanged in the time that I was away, it was almost like no time had passed and I was just arriving back home from a day at work. I felt uneasy walking around the apartment that I had once called home. I received a very warm welcome from Gail who at first couldn't believe I was here. After she gotten over her initial shock she she told how happy she was that I was back before kissing me on the cheek. I wanted to tell her that I wasn't back, that this was only temporary but when she pulled back to look at me she had tears in her eyes and I couldn't find it in me to tell her.

"Is there anything I can get for you Ana, something to eat or a drink?" She had asked while wiping at her face.

"No thanks, we ate at the hospital." I let her know. I looked over to Christian as I could no longer look at Gail with her hopeful stare. "In fact I'm feeling really tired, could I go lie down please." I had just needed to get out of there, it was starting to become a bit much and I felt like I was suffocating on the onslaught of feelings that were being thrown at me. I had offered to take the spare bedroom, previously known as the sub room, but Christian would not allow it. He insisted I stay in the main bedroom, our old bedroom, so I didn't have to bother with the stairs, and that he would take the spare room. I found myself too exhausted to argue with him and allowed him to help me into bed before drifting off into a deep, dreamless sleep.

The days that followed were equally as stifling as that first day. Christian hasn't left the apartment since we came back from the hospital, instead he spends most of his time in his office. I haven't been allowed to lift a finger since I arrived here, Gail always seems to conveniently be in the area whenever I need anything that I'm convinced she's lurking around corners waiting for me to move. It's why I find myself sat in the living room this afternoon ready to tear my hair out. I decide that maybe a walk and a lot of fresh air will help me calm down and stop me from climbing the walls. I stand up from the sofa and go to make my way into the bedroom to grab a coat when Gail appears in the doorway.

"Everything ok Ana? Can I get you anything?" She asks and I know she's probably only doing what Christian's asked of her but I can't help but feel irritated that she is everywhere.

"No, I'm fine thanks." I reply before walking past her and heading in the direction of the bedroom. I walk into the bedroom and head over to the closet, I was shocked when I first came in here as I expected all of my stuff to have been thrown out but everything is as I left the last time I was in here. I'm starting to wonder whether Christian has actually been in here since I left. I grab a coat that buttons up so I can put it on with one hand and make my way out of the bedroom, I head to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water to take with me, I had then intended on popping into Christian's office to let him know where I'm going but as I start making my way down the hall, Christian appears at the other end looking frantic. He stops abruptly when he sees me and he looks me up and down.

"You're leaving?" He asks, his voice sounding strained.

"Yes, no, I mean," I look at him and instantly know what he's thinking, he must of thought I was going to run, leave him without saying anything. I can only guess that Gail let him know I'd put my coat on ready to go somewhere. "I'm just going to go for a walk, I feel like a caged animal in here, I need to get out for a bit." I rush out hoping to ease some of the tension I can see in his face. His shoulders instantly sag at my words and he takes a couple of steps towards me.

"Oh, well why don't I come with you. I could do with a break anyway and a walk sounds good." He says with a smile.

"Erm, sure I guess, if you want to I mean." I tell him, we have hardly seen each other in the three days I've been here despite living in the same apartment, he spends most of his time in his office, coming out to join me for meals which is filled with the most awkward small talk I've ever been subjected to, I'm not surprised he returns to his office as quick as he can, I'd run off too if I had somewhere to run to.

"Of course I'll come, just let me grab my coat and we'll be off." He turns and walks back towards his office and I make my way back to the kitchen to wait for him.

Christian joins me a few minutes later wearing his coat and closely followed by Taylor. "You ready?" He asks me and I nod in reply and jump down from the stool. We take the elevator down to the ground floor and walk through the main lobby. I have never walked through here before, we've always arrived by car and taken the elevator from the garage straight up to the penthouse. I have a quick look around as we walk towards the exit, the lobby consists of stark white walls and black and white marble floors, there's a black marble main desk and and an extravagant looking curved staircase with a wrought iron hand rail that leads up to the second floor. I see signs offering information on which floor different amenities can be located on, I'm shocked to see that there is a restaurant and bar located in the building as well as a private theatre, a gym and spa. I start to realise I knew very little about the place I called home. As we leave through the main door the chilly Seattle air bites at my cheeks, the beginning of Autumn has started to make its self known, the leaves on the trees are starting to turn a light orange colour and a few loose leaves blow around our feet, the temperature has also taken a slight dip and I tug my coat closer around me as best as I can whilst wearing the sling. "Are you going to be okay in that coat, it's a lot colder than I thought it was going to be, we can go back up and get a different coat for you? Maybe a scarf and some gloves?" I shake my head at his requests.

"No, I'm okay, plus we're out now, if I get too cold we'll come straight back I promise." I turn left out the doors and set off down 4th Avenue. The streets are busy and I quickly tire of having to dodge out of the way of people to stop them knocking my shoulder. After walking for a bit we come to small seating area in front of the Westlake shopping centre, it has a few fountains and benches so I make my way over to one of the empty benches and take a seat. Christian takes a seat beside me, sitting on my right side very close.

"Are you warm enough." He asks and I turn round to look at him, the cool air has caused his cheeks to flush with colour.

"Yes I'm fine." I say with a smile. I turn to look back towards the fountains, there are a few people sitting on the edges of them eating lunch. "This is nice." I say looking round the gathering area before looking over at Christian, he nods in approval. "I just had to get out for a bit, not that your apartment isn't lovely, it's just I could only take so much of Gail being under my feet. I've been so use to doing everything on my own that this is a lot to adjust to." Christian doesn't look at me but he nods his head to acknowledge that he's listening. We sit there for a few more minutes, watching the city of Seattle go by before Christian speaks.

"Where did you go that day?" He asks and I turn to look at him, I don't need him to elaborate to know which day he's talking about. He's looking at me with a crease between his eyebrows and I start to wonder how long this question has been on the tip of his tongue.

"I.." I start to talk but stop myself, I turn to look away from him to think about what to say. I want to tell him what happened but I don't think I'm ready just yet, I've done such a good job of suppressing any feelings or emotions to do with what happened that I'm scared about what will happen once I start to open up about them. "I'm not ready to talk about that yet." He goes to say something but I cut him off quickly. "I will tell you, about everything, but I just need time, please, can you do that for me, just give me a little time?" I ask of him. I turn to face him and see him watching me a intently, he takes a deep breath before reaching out and grabbing hold of my hand.

"Of course I can, in the meantime I just want you to know that you can tell me anything, I'm here for you Ana." He says it with so much meaning that I have no choice to believe that he means it. I nod at him and he gives my hand a squeeze. "Have you had anything to eat yet?" He asks me and I shake my head. "Good because I'm starving, would you like to grab lunch with me, I'm sure there's somewhere not too far from here."

"Sure, why not." I say and we both stand up, he looks up and down 4th Avenue before carrying on walking the way we were before we sat down. I notice that Christian still has hold of my hand and I find myself thinking about the first time we had coffee and how he held my hand to the coffee shop, it still sends shivers up my spine now. I don't pull my hand away but instead find myself tightening my fingers around his. We walk for a bit before coming to a stop in front of a small deli, there's some tables set outside and it doesn't look too busy inside, we go in and take a seat at one of the small tables at the back of the deli. After a brief look at the menu I order a spicy chicken panini and a tea, now that we've come into somewhere warm I'm only just realising how cold it is outside, I'm hoping that the spicy chicken will warm me up.

After we've finished eating and the table has been cleared I sit there sipping my tea, Christian has a small coffee in front of him that he hasn't touched, he just has his hands wrapped round it as though it's warming his fingers. I look round the deli to find it's mostly empty now that the lunchtime rush is over, there's only one other table sat by the window but on closer inspection I realise that it's just Taylor sat with a coffee and reading a paper. I look back at Christian with a smile on my face. "I looked for you after you left you know." My face instantly falls.

"Christian." I go to remind him that I'm not ready to talk about this but he cuts me off.

"I know you said you weren't ready to talk about it but that doesn't mean that I can't talk" he says without looking up from his coffee. I glance around the deli before looking back over at Christian.

"Is now really the best time?" I ask but he acts like he doesn't even hear me.

"Sawyer rang to tell me that you'd gone missing on your dinner hour, we looked everywhere but it was liked you'd disappeared from the face of the earth. I contacted everyone in the days that followed, your mum, your dad, I even contacted José but no one had heard from you." He frowns into his coffee as he continues speaking. "You didn't take anything with you, no clothes, money, even your bag was still on your work desk. I honestly believed you'd been taken yet there was no proof of that. Hannah told us that you might have ran to the deli to pick up your lunch and the cctv confirmed her story, only you never even made it to the deli as your order was never picked up. Somewhere between work and the deli you managed to disappear. I was ready to do an appeal for any information about your whereabouts when a letter arrived in the mail. There was no return address and I instantly thought ransom note." I suddenly feel sick and as selfish as I seem I don't want to hear anymore.

"Christian please." I plead and a lump forms in my throat. Again he continues like he hasn't heard me.

"The note was definitely your handwriting but it wasn't like anything you'd say, reading it was like reading a foreign language, it just wasn't you." I try to stop myself from thinking but my mind takes over and even though it was over a year ago that I wrote that note I can still still remember every word I was forced to write down. I'm hit with more and more memories, memories I had buried deep a long time ago and I suddenly find it very hard to breathe. I look up at Christian and I can see his lips moving as though he's still talking but I can't hear a word he's saying, there's a loud ringing in my ears and everything just feels like it's too much.

"Christian stop!" I shout out whilst standing up so fast that my chair falls back and hits the floor. His head snaps up to look at me and he looks panicked. "I'm sorry." I say quietly. "I can't, I can't." I can't seem to get out the words I want to say, I feel like the walls are closing in on me and I find it hard to catch my breath. I turn round and make my way out of the deli, I just need to get a lungful of air to know that I can breathe. I turn right and brace myself on a wall just outside the deli. Christian comes running out but stops when he sees me, I didn't think he would be too far behind me. He walks towards me but stops a couple of steps in front of me. "I told you I wasn't ready." I say to him before he can say anything. "Why would you do that to me?" My voice is getting higher and the I'm struggling to catch my breath as I fight against the tears that are brewing. "I can't.. I'm not ready.. It's just too much." I gasp out and the tears start rolling down my face. Christian closes the gap between us and pulls me gently into his embrace, I press my face into his chest and try to stop the sobs that are wracking my body.

"I'm sorry Ana, I'm so sorry." Christian says into my hair. "I won't do that again." He says and I pull back to look at him, he looks so troubled and the crease between his brows seems to be a permanent fixture on his face recently.

"No Christian, you should be able to talk about it, of course you should. I can't even begin to imagine what you went through but maybe, it's just, a little warning next time would be helpful. Okay?" I ask and he nods at me. "And maybe in a more private setting." I say as an afterthought. He nods but he doesn't look like he's really taking in what I'm saying, it looks like he's just waiting for me to finish so he can start speaking.

"Can I just ask one question? One question and that's it I won't say anymore about it till you're ready."

"No." I answer him and his face falls. "No because it won't just be one question, if I answer honestly you're going to want to know more, you're going to want to know reasons behind my answer and I'm not ready to give you that, not yet anyway."

"I promise one question, I won't push you for anymore than you're willing to tell. Please Ana, just this one thing."

"Fine." I spit out. "One question, but if you push me for more I will walk away and I won't speak to you again for the rest of the week." I threaten him. He smiles and takes a deep breath and I ready myself for the question he's about to throw at me. I tell myself I'll be totally honest with my answer no matter what he asks.

"Did you write that letter?" He looks into my eyes and feels like he's staring into my soul, I don't think I could lie to him even if I wanted to, he intimidates me so much.

"Yes."I say whilst maintaining eye contact, his face falls and he looks down to the floor. It's not a lie, I did write the letter. "But you already knew that, you told me so in there." I angle my head over to the deli. "I think you're asking the wrong question Christian." I say and he looks at me.

"Okay, let me rephrase." He says and I wait for him to word the question correctly. "Why did you write that letter Anastasia?" He finally asks.

"I was made to write it." I say to him, I can't look him in the eyes anymore so I settle on looking at his mouth. "If I didn't write it, they were going to hurt people I care about." I close my eyes as I fight the onslaught of images that swim to the surface of my mind.

"Ana."

"No." I say, "No more talking. Can we just go please, I have a headache and would really like to lie down."

"Okay let's go." Christian takes my hand and we set off walking in the direction of Escala.

The walk back is quiet for which I'm grateful, I sneak glances at Christian every now and again and I swear I can hear the cogs whirling in his brain as he tries to make sense of what I've told him, but true to his word he doesn't push me for any more information. As we arrive in the penthouse Christian guides me straight through to the bedroom, he proceeds to help me out of my coat before going to close the curtains. I'm about to go into the bathroom to grab some painkillers when Christian steps in front of me. He reaches up and places his hands on either side of my face and forces my head up to look at him, he doesn't do it roughly but there's an urgency in his movements. For a long time he just looks down at me and even in the slightly darkened room I can see his eyes roaming all over my face. His expression is difficult to read and I'm about to ask him what's wrong when he leans down and places a kiss on my forehead, his lips linger there for a while and I hear him inhale loudly, as though he's breathing in my scent, then he lets go of me and turns and walks out of the room. I stand there for a while staring at the closed door before the pounding in my head becomes too much. I go into the bathroom and chase down two painkillers with a glass of water before climbing into bed.

When I awake the room is pitch black, I reach over and turn on the bedside light and a look at the clock tells me it's just after three in the morning, I've slept for almost twelve hours. Sitting in front of the clock is a plate of sandwiches wrapped in cling film and a bottle of water. I wonder if anyone tried to wake me for dinner or if Christian just decided to let me sleep. I stare at the sandwiches for a while before I decide I'm not hungry, I open the bottle of water and down almost half the bottle, the painkillers I got from the hospital tend to give me an awful dry mouth. I stand up and make my way into the closet and grab myself a pair of pyjama bottoms and a top and change out of my clothes. I'm about to climb back into bed when a noise stops me. I walk closer to bedroom door and press my ear towards the it. A hauntingly sad song floats through the cracks in the door and I instantly know Christian is playing his piano. The song pulls at my heart strings and I want nothing more than to run from the room and comfort him. I don't though, I take a step back and climb into bed, I turn the light off and lay there and listen to Christian playing whilst tears roll down my face, eventually I tire myself out and fall back to sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

The next time I awake I can see daylight poking through slight gaps in the curtains. I look over at the clock but the first thing that grabs my attention is the plate of food is no longer there. I sit up and stare at the door but it's still shut. My stomach rumbles quite loudly at the thought of food and I get out of bed and make my way towards the kitchen.

Gail is already in the kitchen and she greets me with a smile as I sit down. "Good morning Ana, can I get you something for breakfast. Mr Grey said you didn't eat last night and I'm to make sure you make up for it this morning."

"I'll have some bacon, eggs and toast then." I say. Judging by what she said it was Christian who removed the plate of food from my room this morning. I feel a pang of regret as I realise I slept through his presence.

"Coming right up." Gail says as she places a cup of tea in front of me.

"Has Christian already eaten then?" I ask as he's usually sat here before I come out of the bedroom.

"Yes he ate early this morning as he had to leave for an appointment." Disappointment flows through me as I realise he left without saying anything. My face must speak for me because Gail speaks up again. "He'll be back around lunchtime though, I think he has an appointment with Doctor Flynn." She tells me and I perk up a little. At least I know he's not avoiding me after yesterday, and seeing Flynn is probably the best thing for him right now. When Gail sets my food in front of me I dig in whilst she clears up the mess.

I'm almost finished when she clears her throat, I look up at her and it looks like she's fighting an internal dilemma. "I know I have no place saying any of this to you, and you can tell me to sod off and mind my own business anytime you want but I just have to say, I'm so glad you're back." I set my knife and fork down and smile at her, she takes this as a good sign and continues talking. "The last year has been hard, on all of us. But this last week it's like seeing a whole new person in Christian. I almost had a heart attack when he came home smiling one night. Jason told me he had just spent the last few hours at your apartment and I couldn't have been happier. You know he was suppose to spend the week in New York?" I shake my head at her question. "Yes they weren't suppose to be coming back till Monday but Christian changed all the plans the minute he got back from yours and arranged to just have the meeting in the morning and fly straight back. He was so eager to see you he went straight to your apartment from the airport, which looking back now it's lucky he did." She says whilst glancing down at my arm. I had wondered how Christian had ended up in my apartment when he was supposedly in New York but never got round to asking him. Gail stands there smiling at me and I start to feel a little uncomfortable so I excuse myself from the table and tell her I'm going to get dressed.

I spend a long time in the shower before rooting in the closet for some comfy clothes to wear. I make my way over to the library, which also use to be my office, in the hopes of picking out a good book to read. When I enter the library I look around and see that, just like the bedroom, this room looks untouched. My MacBook is still set up on the desk and there are a few manuscripts piled next to it, it's almost like Christian was leaving it for me in the hopes that I'd return. I turn away from the desk and busy myself with finding a book, I settle on reading a book I haven't read before and make my way over to the seat by the window. I had intended on returning to the living room with my book but it's so quiet in here that I decide to stay put.

After finding myself having to reread the same page over and over again I finally decide to give up on reading, my minds too distracted to focus on what's on the page. I put the book down and settle for staring out the window at the skyline of Seattle, I find myself thinking about Christian and what I should say to him when he gets back. He deserves to know the truth but I'm just worried how he'll react when he finds out, I mean he did move on because he thought I'd left him for good. My thoughts are interrupted when I hear voices floating down the hallway, thinking that Christian must be back I make my way over to the door. I freeze in the doorway as I hear a woman's shrill laugh that sends chills down my spine, it definitely doesn't sound like Gail's laugh. I lean my head out of the doorway and try to listen to what's going on.

"Of course Christian knows I'm coming, we have a lunch date, his office told me he was working from home today so I thought I'd meet him here." I instantly recognise the voice, it's a voice that haunted my dreams for many months so I should be slightly familiar with it, I believe it to be Elena Lincoln, I hope I'm wrong but there is no mistaking that incessant purr she adds to the end of every word.

"I'm afraid Christian isn't here right now so I'm going to have to ask you to leave." A male voice says, it's someone who I haven't heard before.

"That's not a problem, I'll wait for him to return." I hear some heels clicking and I move back from the doorway and press myself against the wall. I'm filled with a mixture of emotions from anger to fear. My heart sinks at fact that Christian has arranged to have lunch with her, I'm angry at him for hiding it from me, then I get angry at myself as I realise he thought I left, I shouldn't be angry for what he did in the time I was away but I just can't stop myself.

"Ma'am I'm sorry but Mr Grey is not due back until later this evening, he was called away on important business and if he hasn't called to rearrange your plans them I'm afraid you'll have to take it up with him. In the meantime I'm going to have to insist that you leave, you are not on the list of approved visitors so I can't allow you to stay." I'm beginning to like this unknown man, he clearly isn't going to back down to Elena and for that I'm grateful, the thought of being stuck in the apartment with her makes my skin crawl. I do find myself questioning why he's lying though, Gail had told me they were due back around lunch time.

"Fine, I'll just wait for him at the restaurant, we've had this lunch date planned for weeks, I can't see him cancelling it." I hear footsteps retreating before hearing the ding of the elevator. "Oh, and I will be letting Christian know just how badly I was treated by one of his members of staff, I don't think Christian will appreciate the way you have spoken to me." I listen at the doorway for a few minutes to make sure she has gone before running down the hallway into the bedroom. I sit on the edge of the bed and take a deep breath. What am I going to do? Christian is obviously still close to that woman, I find myself wondering just how close before I shake my head to chase those thoughts away, I really don't want to know the answer to that. After thinking things through for a bit I decide that the best thing for me to do is to go back home, it really was a mistake to come here, yet again things are moving way to fast between me and Christian. I barely had time to adjust to the fact that he was back in my life before I was moving in with him, this was only suppose to be temporary anyway so it can't come as too much of a shock to him that I want to go home. I gather my coat from the closet and place my painkillers with them on the bed and wait for Christian to return. It would be a lot easier to just go but I can't do that to Christian, he deserves to know I'm leaving rather than come home to an empty house and no explanation.

I don't have to wait long before I hear the elevator ding and the familiar sound of Christians voice floating down the hall. I can hear him barking orders at Taylor but I can't quite make out what he's saying. I listen to his footsteps make their way down the hall before coming to a stop outside the bedroom, he knocks and opens the door before walking in without waiting for me to answer.

"Hey, Gail said you were in here. She's just made some lunch, are you hungry?" He asks me. I shake my head as I answer.

"No, besides don't you already have plans with someone else for lunch?" I question him.

"No, I don't have any plans, I was hoping you'd join me for lunch and I could tell you about my morning." He replies.

"Well why don't I tell you about my morning first." I say to him as I stand up and take a step towards him. "I was enjoying a nice quiet morning before a certain someone showed up shouting the odds." I watch as his face falls. "Elena Lincoln came here looking for you, said she was here to pick you up for your lunch date."

"Ana I don't have plans with that woman, I don't know why she came here today, I haven't spoken to her in a very long time."

"Please don't lie to me Christian."

"I'm not lying to you Ana." He interrupts me with a slightly raised voice. "I have no idea why she turned up here, we don't have any plans today or any other day."

"I heard her." I tell him. "She said you had this planned for weeks, she went to pick you up from work but your assistant told her you were working from home. Christian I have told you before that woman is a deal breaker for me, if she's still part of your life, well then, I don't want to be." I turn around and pick up my coat from the bed and start to make my way towards the door. Christian looks down at the coat in my hand and a look of panic fills his face, he moves to stand in the doorway effectively blocking my way.

"No, wait, please just listen to me." He pleads and I shake my head at him.

"Move out of the way Christian, I'm going home."

"No, not until you listen to me, Ana I did not arrange to meet that woman for lunch, I haven't seen or spoken to Elena in a long time, Wylds' phoned me just over an hour ago to inform me that she'd just shown up, Ana I swear that's the first I heard anything about this." I wish I could believe him, but he has a track record of seeking her out in times of need. His face suddenly lights up as though he's had a moment of recognition. "I was meant to be in New York this week."

"Yeah I know." I say to him wondering where he's going with this. "Gail told me earlier, she said you flew back early."

"Yes I flew back to see you, now why if I was scheduled to be in New York all week would I have arranged to have lunch with Elena." I think about it for a moment, Gail had told me he wasn't due back till Monday and he only changed his plans the night he set off for New York and Elena did say this had been planned for weeks."And you said you overheard her say she stopped by my office, Ana I haven't told anyone at the office I'm back yet, as far as they know I'm still in New York. She's lying Ana, I have no idea why she turned up here but it certainly wasn't by invitation." I step backwards as what he's saying starts to sink in, as the back of my knees hit the bed I lower myself down. If Christian didn't have plans with her then she just turned up here and if she knows that Christian isn't in New York then she must be watching him, and that means she's seen me as well. I bet it was no coincidence that she happened to turn up the one morning Christian decided to go out. My breathing starts to get heavier and I look down to the floor. I hear Christian say my name but I can't answer him, my thoughts are racing a mile a minute. I can't let it happen again, I'm not strong enough to do it again. I can still hear the harsh words being whispered into my ear as though they were being spoken this very minute, the malice in her voice as she warned me what would happen if I even glanced Christians way ever again. Despite everything I refuse to be weak ever again and I refuse to let them get away with what they did, no matter what the consequences are. I need to tell Christian, he needs to know, this was far from how I pictured telling him but I have no choice.

"It was Elena." I blurt out, I must have interrupted him in the middle of saying something because when I look up he's staring at me with his mouth open. He shakes his head slightly.

"I'm sorry, what was Elena?" He asks me as he takes a step closer. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, there's no going back now.

"The note." I say and I open my eyes to look at him, he looks confused and I'm not surprised, none of what I'm saying makes sense, my eyes fill with tears and I decide to just rush the next part out. "She made me write the note, she kept me locked away for months, she tortured me, she threatened my family, she threatened you." The tears are now flowing freely down my face. "I didn't know it was her at first, she had someone working for her, he was the one who, who." I can't seem to get the words out. I look up at Christian and his face is void of any emotion as are the next words out of his mouth.

"I don't understand." He says. "Are you telling me Elena had you kidnapped and kept you from all these months." He asks though it doesn't really sound like he's asking a question, merely summarising what I just told him, I nod slowly at him in reply. "Are you sure it was her?" He asks me, he doesn't look at me, he looks straight over my head at the wall above the bed.

"Yes, she had someone else to do all her dirty work but it was all her doing, she wanted you all to herself Christian, she merely saw me as obstacle in her way to getting what she wanted." Christian inhales deeply before turning on his heel and stomping out of the room. I sit on the bed stunned, more tears start to roll down my face and I start to cry loudly. I wasn't sure how I expected him to react but I didn't think he'd just leave me sat here without saying anything. I decide to give him a couple of minutes to calm down, I expect him to go to another room so when I hear the elevator ding I panic, he's leaving. I jump up from the bed and race towards the elevator, screaming for Christian as I run. "Christian, please don't leave." I scream and as I get to the entrance hall the elevator doors are starting to close. "Please Christian." I plead but he doesn't even look at me, he's staring at the floor with his hands fisted at his sides as the doors close shut on him. I run toward the elevator planning on running after him, he's unpredictable when he's angry and I find myself worrying just what he'll do, but I find my path blocked by Taylor. "Move Taylor." I demand but he doesn't listen, he just stands in front of me staring down at me. I go to move around him but he just sidesteps and blocks my way. "Move out of my way Taylor." I demand for a second time

"I'm sorry ma'am but I've been instructed to not allow you to leave the building." My face drops.

"Allow?"I question him "I'm sorry but Christian Grey does not own me, he does not get to say what I am and am not allowed to do." I try to step around him again but he just keeps blocking my way.

"I'm sorry ma'am, I cannot let you leave." This makes me furious, how dare he stand there and tell me I can't leave.

"And what are you going to do Taylor, are you going to force me to stay, how far are you willing to go to follow Christian's orders, are you willing to put your hands on me, restrain me, hurt me? Because I am getting in that elevator even if I have to force my way past you, and I'm already injured so just how far are you willing to go?" I stare up at him with a fierce look on my face, he towers over me and I know he could very easily stop me from leaving, any attempt to push past him would be futile but I refuse to back down, Christian's probably long gone now but I refuse to sit by and do nothing. Taylor stares down at me before closing his eyes and stepping to the side. I rush past him and press the call button for the elevator. "Thank you." I say without looking at Taylor "You can tell Christian I hit you over the head with a frying pan if you'd like." I hear him chuckle behind me.

"I just might do that." He says. I start to bounce on the balls of my feet as I wait for the elevator. When lift finally arrives and the doors slide open my breath catches in my throat. Standing inside is Christian, he's leaning against the back wall, the top two buttons of his shirt are undone and he has pushed his sleeves up past his elbows. His head snaps up and his gaze meets mine, he looks between me and Taylor a few times before pushing of the wall and storming out of the elevator.

"You're fired." He says as he looks at Taylor.

"What!" I say shocked. I turn around and follow him through the apartment. "No he's not, you can't fire him for refusing to keep me prisoner here." I say to him and he stops and swings round to face me, I force myself to stop so I don't collide with him and almost stumble forward.

"I can fire him for refusing to follow my orders." He says as he runs his hands through his already disheveled hair.

"What would you have had him do Christian, in case you've forgotten I'm already injured, would you have preferred him to physically restrain me, cause me more injury?" I ask him and his face falls, he takes a step towards me.

"No of course not, I would never.."

"Well then how did you expect him to keep me here Christian, you put him in an impossible position, how is that fair." He looks down at the floor and I think he must feel some sort of shame for asking that of Taylor. "Where did you go?" I ask him.

"I went up on the roof. I just needing to think, to breathe. I'm sorry I took off like that, it was a lot to take in." As he stands there he runs his hand through his hair again and he looks so lost. "Ana I need you to tell me everything." He takes a step towards me and grabs hold of my hand. "I need to know what happened to you, are you ready to talk?" I shake my head.

"No, I don't think I'll ever be ready, but I will talk." He pulls my hand and guides me towards the living room where we take a seat on one of the sofas, Christian takes a seat next me and doesn't let go of my hand. I take a deep breath and prepare to tell him what I can remember.


	11. Chapter 11

**Trigger Warning - violence**

 _ **Authors Note: a polite notice for anyone reading, this next chapter contains some mild violence. I would like to add at this point that there were ill be no rape or sexual assault of any kind in this story. There will be violence as well as physical and emotional abuse towards Ana**_.

 _Approximately 12 months ago_

I shouldn't have come to work today, it's pointless me being here, I can't concentrate on anything. Christian had emailed me this morning to let me know he had business to attend to in Portland, we still haven't spoken since I blew up at him for seeing Elena. I pick my phone up to check for any mail but find there's nothing, I'd usually have a email letting me know he arrived there safely. My eyes prickle with tears and I quickly blink to try and keep them at bay, I hate fighting with Christian but I refuse to back down, I have let Christian know enough times how I feel about that woman but yet again he chose to disregard it, like my feelings mean nothing to him. There's a knock on my office door and I take a deep breath before inviting whoever knocked in.

"Hi Ana, I'm just about to phone a lunch order into the deli down the road, can I get you anything?" Hannah, my assistant asks me.

"You know what, that sounds great, I'll have a salmon and crème cheese bagel please." She nods at me before retreating from the office, closing the door behind her. I open the laptop on my desk and quickly check if it's safe to eat salmon whilst pregnant before answering a few emails, ten minutes pass before there's another knock on my door.

"Come in." I say as I close the laptop. The door opens and Hannah steps in my office before shutting the door quickly behind her. I look up at her and resist the urge to laugh loudly when I take in her appearance. The cream shirt she arrived in this morning is now splattered with black, she looks like she just finished sweeping chimneys. The black has splattered over her face and there are lines around her eyes where she's obviously squeezed her eyes shut.

"What.." I start to say but have to clear my throat as a giggle starts to escape. "What happened?" I manage to ask before erupting into a fit of giggles, it feels so good to laugh.

"It's not funny Ana." She says with a pout, which just sets me off laughing again. "The printer jammed on me and as I tried to pull my paper out it just spewed all this toner at me. What am I gunna do." She asks whilst wiping at her shirt. I manage to calm down enough to answer her.

"Stop doing that first of all," I say to her. "You'll just make it worse. Why don't you use your dinner hour to run home and change, and maybe shower." I add. Hannah lifts her fingers up to her face before pulling her hand back and groaning loudly.

"But what about your lunch, it's ready to be picked up from the deli." She says and I raise my hand to dismiss her.

"It's fine I'll send Sawyer to grab it, now go before that stuff starts to stain your face." A look of panic fills her face and she turns and rushes out of the door. I giggle to myself again before grabbing the phone from my desk, I ring the IT department and ask someone to come and take a look at the printer before grabbing my blackberry and ringing Sawyer. When there's no answer I grab some money from my purse and make my way towards reception to see if he's there. After a quick glance round I see no sign of Sawyer, I decide to just nip to the deli myself, it's only down the road and I'll be back before anyone even notices I've gone. I leave through the main entrance and head right down the street. It's not that busy on the sidewalk which isn't so unusual, SIP isn't located on a main road and aside from the deli and a small shop the only other buildings are offices. As I step off the curb to cross a small road that leads into an alley I feel someone grab my arm, I'm swung around and feel a hand hold onto the back of my head, I can see a wall coming up fast to my face and pain explodes across my forehead before everything turns black.

I groan as I slowly start to come to, my head is throbbing and my whole body feels stiff. I open my eyes slowly, blinking a few times to try and rid the darkness before I realise that the reason I can't see anything is because it's so dark. I slowly sit up, groaning as I go, before looking around, I try to find any source of light but quickly find none, there's nothing but pitch black in every direction. I take a few deep breaths and will myself not to panic. I try to remember what happened, I remember walking to the deli and I remember someone grabbing me, I think hard and try to see if I managed to glimpse a face before blacking out but all I see is the wall and darkness. I raise my hand and gently push my fingers over my forehead, I wince as my fingertips make contact with a sizeable lump protruding from my hairline. I place my hands on the floor and touch what feels like cold concrete, I push my arms out as far as I can in either direction but find nothing but the concrete floor. I decide against getting up and walking round in fear that I'll injure myself in the dark room. Instead I pull my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them and proceed to think things through. I've obviously been taken by someone but for what reason, money maybe, I could be being held to ransom. I try to think about who could possibly want to do this, Jack Hyde is still in police custody, maybe someone with a grudge against Christian. I give up trying to guess as I realise I know very little about the threats in Christian's life, not that he would tell me anyway. Scanning through his emails the other night let me know there is a lot Christian keeps from me when it comes to security.

I sit there long enough for my behind to go numb before I hear the sounds of footsteps, there's the scraping of metal and light floods the room. The light is blinding after spending so long in the dark and I squeeze my eyes shut before slowly blinking against the bright light, as my eyes adjust I look over to the source of the light and find a large man standing in a small doorway. I try to look past him but see nothing but a concrete wall, the light coming from behind him seems to be too white to be daylight so I assume it's an electrical light of some sort. The man starts walking towards me and I instinctively cower away from him, scooting backwards until my back collides with something hard. The man comes to a stop in front of me and drops something on the floor, it collides with the floor with such a loud clatter that it makes me jump. I don't take my eyes of the man until he turns to walk back out the door. I look down at what was dropped on the floor and see a plastic plate containing a sandwich with a bottle of water lay next to it. I look up in time to see a large metal door being swung shut before the room is plunged into darkness again.

I sit there for a long time before I give in to my thirst and open the bottle of water, I hadn't wanted to touch anything I had been given, with no way of knowing whether it had been laced with anything I didn't want to take my chances, eventually my mouth became painfully dry and I found myself reaching for the bottle of water. I could hear the sound of the seal breaking as I opened it in the dark and took that as a good sign that it hadn't been tampered with. I had almost drank half the bottle before I stopped myself, with no way of knowing how long I'm going to be in here and when I was next going to receive any water I decided I'd better reserve what water I have. As I sit there I start to think about Christian, I have no idea how much time has passed and I wonder if he knows I'm missing yet, surely Sawyer has rang him to let him know I didn't return from lunch. I panic slightly when I realise that I never let anyone know where I was going, I'd told Hannah I'd send Sawyer to pick up the lunch order but I never found Sawyer to tell him. Surely they must have protocols in place for when something like this happens. My thoughts are interrupted by the sound of scraping metal and I close my eyes to protect them from the blinding light. As I slowly open my eyes I see the same man making his way towards me, again I try to back away from him but I'm still pressed against the wall so I press my legs tight against my chest and try to make myself as small as possible. The man stops just in front of me before bending over and grabbing hold of my arm, his hands seem huge and they easily wrap around the top of my arm and he pulls hard, wrenching me to my feet, he then proceeds to drag me from the room.

"Where are you taking me?" I ask and though I try to keep the fear out of my voice to come across as though I'm not scared I fail miserably, my voice trembles and comes out as nothing more than a whisper. I receive no answer and proceed to be dragged out of the dark room into the bright corridor, I'm then dragged down a corridor which contains four metal doors all of which are identical to each other. I quickly glance around hoping to see some form of escape but there are no windows and no way of knowing if any of the doors lead outside. At the end of the corridor the man reaches forward and opens the last door and I quickly glance behind me and notice some stairs leading up before I'm pulled forward then pushed into the room, I stumble forward slightly and the sound of the door slamming shut makes me jump slightly, I spin round and see that I have been left alone in the room. I turn around and see that I'm in a small bathroom, there's a toilet and a sink but no windows and no door other than the one I just came in through. I glance around looking to see if there's anything I could use as a weapon, the man holding me looks immensely strong and could no doubt easily restrain me with one hand but I'm hoping if I can stun him slightly I can make a run for it towards the stairs, I'm hoping they lead up and out of this place. I may not be strong but I'm a lot smaller than the guy and I'm hoping I can outrun him. There's nothing in the small bathroom that screams weapon, there's not even a mirror to smash, the only loose item is the roll of toilet paper sat on the back of the toilet. I walk over to the toilet and see that the lid of the water tank can be removed. I remove the toilet paper and slowly lift the lid off, it's very heavy in my hands but I can lift it above my head and bring it down fast, hopefully hard enough to knock the man out. I slip my heels off and kick them to the side of the toilet and move to stand next to door, I stand so that I'll be hidden when the door is opened. After a few minutes I hear footsteps stop outside the door and see the door handle being lowered, I raise the heavy lid above my head, I take a deep breath and hold it as I wait to put my plan into effect. The man takes a couple of steps into the bathroom and I don't hesitate to bring the lid down as hard as I can. It makes an awful sound as it collides with the back of his head but I don't wait to see what effect it has on him, I throw the lid to the side and hear it smash against the wall before I take off running out of the room. I sprint down the corridor keeping my eyes trained on my the pathway so I don't trip on anything and as I hit the stairs I take them two at a time, I make it about eight steps up when someone grabs hold of my ankle. I fall forward and smash my chin on the concrete step and pain radiates through my jaw. I turn round and see the man with a firm hold on my foot. I move my other foot up and bring it down on his face as fast and hard as I can, my foot collides with his face a fourth time and I hear as well as feel a sickening crunch, the man screams in agony and releases his hold on my foot. I quickly scramble to get myself upright and continue up the stairs. There's another flight of stairs that lead of to the left and I make my way up them, at the top I can see another metal door similar to the others and I throw myself at it. I try the handle and push and pull for all my worth but it doesn't budge.

"Help!" I scream, as I start to bang on the door. "Please somebody help me." I pound my fist on the door trying to make as much noise as possible. A small chuckle from behind me causes me to spin round, I press my back against the door as I see the man round the corner.

"Well that was dramatic." He says as he comes to a stop in front of me. There's a small amount of blood coming from his nose, which is now twice the size it was before, and his eyes have started to swell making it look as if he's leering at me.

"What do you want?" I ask as tears start to stream down my face. I watch as the man brings his hands in front of him and slowly makes a fist, he stares down at his hand for a bit and I start to wonder if maybe I injured his hand, when so quick that I almost miss it, his fist flies towards my face and pain explodes from my nose and my head slams back and bounces off the metal door. My head spins and I close my eyes as I will myself not to pass out, I groan loudly as I bring my hands up towards my face and instinctively go to cradle my nose but the when my hands make contact pain erupts all over my face.

"Just returning the favour." I hear him say, I open my eyes and see him standing there with a smirk on his face, he reaches out towards me and I instantly cower backwards, this makes him chuckle. He grabs the top of my arm with a tight grip and drags me down the stairs. Blood has now started to pour from my nose and my hands being there are doing very little the stem the flow of blood. When we reach the bottom of the stairs we turn into the first room and the man pushes me forward, I stumble slightly before righting myself and turn round to face the door.

"If you pull anything like that again I will not hesitate to kill you, do you understand?" He says to me and the calmness in his voice sends shivers down my spine. I nod slightly in answer.

"Do you?" He screams at me causing me to jump, the look on his face is terrifying.

"Y-yes." I answer whilst hiccuping on the cries stuck in my throat. He walks backwards out of the room and slams the door shut leaving me in darkness once again, my legs give way beneath me and I sink to the floor and let the tears flow freely down my face in the dark room. My whole face aches and the telltale signs of a headache are beginning to make themselves known. Very gently I lay my head down on the concrete floor and bring my knees up to my chest, my eyes refuse to stay open and by some miracle I manage to slip into a restless slumber.

 **Christian's PoV**

I reach up and loosen my tie and unbutton the top of my shirt, I glance down at my phone once again in hopes of seeing a reply but there's nothing. I had emailed Ana this morning letting her know I had business in Portland but I have yet to hear from her, it shouldn't surprise me, I've been a dick to her, she has every right to be angry with me. I hate fighting with Ana and I know now that this is all down to me, I behaved appallingly when she told me she was pregnant. I was in shock, who wouldn't be, children is not something I had planned for anytime soon. It took me a lot longer than I am proud to admit to realise that this is just as much as shock for Ana as well, I should have been there for her when she so obviously needed me but instead I ran off leaving her alone whilst I behaved like a child, hiding away at work. I am interrupted from my thoughts as I hear Taylor calling my name, I look up and meet his gaze in the rear view mirror.

"Mr Grey, have you heard from Mrs Grey at all today?" He asks. I shake my head as I answer.

"No, why, is something wrong?" I ask, my mind instantly thinking the worse. Taylor ignores me and resumes talking into his earpiece, I can barely hear what he's saying though I pick up snippets like check the building and ring Kate. "Taylor what the hell is going on." I'm on full panic mode now, something must have happened. Taylor lifts his hand up to his ear, ending the phone call, I don't miss the fact that we have sped up slightly.

"Sir, that was sawyer, he says he is unable to locate Mrs Grey."

"What the fuck do you mean unable to locate. Where the fuck is she?" I yell at him.

"We're trying to find that out sir, she's not in her office and her assistant is also not at her desk, we were thinking they may have had lunch plans but Hannah is not answering her phone and Mrs Grey's phone is still in her office along with her purse." I growl under my breath, if Ana has left without her security detail once again there is going to be hell to pay.

"How the hell did Sawyer not see them leave?" I growl at Taylor. I'm now feeling antsy, it seems to be taking forever to get to SIP, the scenarios that are currently running through my head are not helping the situation, each seems to end up with Ana leaving me for what I've put her through.

"Sir we believe they may have left whilst Sawyer was on a bathroom break." He looks at me briefly though the mirror before focusing back on the road. I grip the seat as we fly through the streets of Seattle, I'm now thankful I flew back from Portland as soon as my meeting finished, I'd have been going out of my mind if this had happened whilst I was so far away.

"Sawyer." I glance up as I hear Taylor speaking and realise Sawyer has called him back, I lean forward, sitting on the edge of my seat as this will somehow help me hear what Swayer's saying through Taylor's earpiece. "And did she mention anything else?" He asks. "Okay ETA is around seven minutes, depending on traffic." He reaches up and cuts off the call, he doesn't wait for me to ask before briefing me on the call. "Hannah has just returned from lunch, alone." He adds and any elation I felt is instantly gone.

"Well then where the hell is my wife?" I yell, I am now furious, why the hell would she leave without telling Sawyer and why would she leave her phone. A very apparent reason is glaring me in the face but I quickly shove those thoughts to the back of my mind.

"Sir Hannah went home for her lunch hour, she says Mrs Grey was still in her office when she left."

"Just get me to SIP fast." I say to him.

As we pull up outside the building I throw my door open before the car has even stopped. I throw one of the main double doors open and storm straight through the lobby, ignoring the greeting I receive from someone at reception, I walk straight through the open office glancing briefly at Ana's PA before I open the door to Ana's office. Inside I find the office empty, part of me was hoping Ana would be sat behind the desk, mildly annoyed at the interruption to her day, but the only indication that Ana has been here today is her bag placed on the desk with her phone beside it. I walk over to her desk and pick the phone up, I check her call log and see she rang Sawyer almost an hour ago, there are no other calls and no messages in or out that would help reveal where she's gone.

"Get Hannah in here." I say to Taylor who is currently standing in the doorway, he turns round and leaves the office and I take this time to glance round, nothing seems to be out of place. Taylor returns with Hannah following closely behind. "Do you know where Ana is?" I ask her, trying to keep the obvious panic out of my voice.

"No Mr Grey, I'm sorry but as I told Mr Sawyer, Ana was here, in her office, when I left." She says.

"Did she mention any lunch plans, whether she was meeting anyone." I ask, as Ana's assistant she should know of any meetings or plans Ana may have had.

"No Mr Grey, she had nothing planned, in fact I had ordered her lunch from the deli down the road, I was suppose to pick it up but I had to run home and change after a mishap with a printer. Ana said she was going to send Sawyer to pick up her lunch for her. Is Ana okay?" She asks at the end, concern lacing every word of her question.

"Yes everything's fine Hannah, you can go now." I tell her and dismiss her with a wave of my hand, she leaves the room and Taylor joins me.

"Get Sawyer in here now." I bark at Taylor, as he leaves the office I take a seat at Ana's desk and open her laptop, it opens on her email program and I skim through them to see if there's anything in them that might indicate where she's gone. I find nothing but work emails and the email I sent this morning, I slam the laptop closed and place my head in my hands. I try to tell myself that she wouldn't just leave me, not without telling me but there's a part of me that believes this is nothing less than I deserve. The office door opens and I look up to see Sawyer walk through the door followed closely by Taylor, Sawyer's wise enough to not say anything to me, he must know I'm ready to tear into him for losing sight of Ana.

"Ana phoned you, about an hour ago, did you answer?" I ask him wondering why he wouldn't tell Taylor he'd spoken to her.

"No, I missed the call, I was using the bathroom and when I saw the missed call I came here to see what she wanted but she wasn't here. I checked the building inside and out but there are no signs anywhere." His eyes shift all over my face as he tries to avoid eye contact with me.

"Hannah said Ana was going to ask you to pick up her lunch order from the deli, did you." I ask him.

"No sir, this is the first I'm hearing of it."

"Taylor, go to the deli, check to see if the order was picked up." He turns and walks out the room with a slight nod to acknowledge that he heard me. I breathe in deeply, I can only hope Ana decided to pick up the food herself, maybe she decided to eat in and she's sat there now, blissfully unaware of the hell she's currently putting me through.

"I'm sorry sir." I can hear the remorse in Sawyers voice as he says this but my anger is clouding my better judgement and the last thing I want to hear is him apologising for not doing his job.

"Don't, just don't." I say to him with the anger very clear in my voice, I stand up and lean forward placing my hands flat on the desk. "I pay you to do one thing Sawyer, one fucking thing, and that is to watch my wife. So where is she Sawyer, how was she able to leave this building without your knowledge, I pay you well enough to ensure my wife is within your sights at all times." I'm yelling by the time I finish but I don't have it in me to care, he should be grateful I'm only yelling at him. "You better hope Ana is at that deli." I hiss at him, the unspoken threat evident in my voice. I sit back down and grab my phone from inside my jacket pocket, I dial the number for Welch and wait for him to pick up.

"Welch." I say as he answers. "I need you to get me the security footage from the last ninety minutes at Grey Publishing." I rush out before he can say anything.

"Yes sir, any particular area you're interested in or do you need the whole building?" He asks me and I can already hear him tapping away on a keyboard through the phone.

"Just the main office and the lobby should be fine, send it over to Ana's email, I've got access to her laptop."

"No problem I'll get right on that."

"And Welch, I need these files as of five minutes ago."

"Do I ever disappoint Mr Grey." He says with a slight chuckle but I'm in no mood for his humour, I hang up the phone and open Ana's laptop once again and wait for Welch's email to come through.

Taylor arrives before the email does and a firm shake of his head tells me all I need to know, Ana is not at the deli.

"Fuck." I shout out in frustration as I bang my fist against the desk.

"No one turned up to collect the food order sir, but Hannah's story adds up, she placed an order of two sandwiches to be collected." I glare at Sawyer, a part of me knows I shouldn't really blame him, he can't help going bathroom but I am so mad that I can't see reason and right now he is the sole reason I don't know where Ana is. The ping of a new email saves me from ripping into Sawyer and I pull my glare from him to glance down at the screen. I click on the email from Welch and open both attachments. I place the two windows side by side so I am now looking at the main office and the lobby from ninety minutes ago. The camera in the main office is located just above the door from the reception and is angled towards Ana's office, I can see the whole office including Hannah's desk. I watch as Hannah gets up from her desk and knocks on Ana's door, she pops her head inside for a brief minute before coming back out and shutting the door, Hannah then goes back to her desk and makes a quick phone call before walking out of the cameras range. I fast forward the video slightly and resume normal speed as I watch Hannah come back onto the screen walking quickly towards Ana's office, she appears to be covered in a black substance and I can only deduce that this is a result of the printer mishap Hannah mentioned earlier. I watch Hannah knock on the door before entering quickly and slamming the door behind her. I find myself cursing under my breath at the fact that I did not have a security camera installed in Ana's office, I had deliberated doing so but the thought of how Ana would react if she'd found out I was even thinking of doing such a thing had put me off. I fast forward the video again and watch at high speed as Hannah leaves the office, grabs her bag and leaves the building. I slow the video down once again as I watch Ana leave her office, my breath catches in my throat as I watch her on the small screen. Even on the low resolution image she looks radiant, I didn't get to see her this morning, choosing instead to rush off to work to avoid another confrontation with her. She's wearing a navy blue fitted dress with sleeves that stop at the elbow and a pair of heeled pumps. I watch as she walks through the office into the lobby, when she gets there she glances round before making her way over to the double doors and out on to the street, I can see through the glass that she heads to the right, towards the direction of the deli. Where the hell did she go then.

"I want you both outside now, I want you to look everywhere from here to the deli, I want some sort of clue as to where she went when she left this building." They both leave without a word and I find myself rewinding the security footage and watching it just see Ana again.

 ** _I would personally like to thank everyone that leaves a review, I wish I could personally thank you all individually but I have chapters to write to keep you all happy. With this being my first ever story constructive criticism is more than welcome, I would love to know how I can improve, other than updating more frequently. The story will now be set approximately 12 months before Ana and Christian met up again and follow on, hopefully telling the whole story of where Ana has been._**

 ** _Thanks for reading_**


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